I didnt tear but had an episiotomy, and it was 4 weeks until we DTD. I wanted to do it sooner but I wanted to make sure the scar had healed properly as one end was taking a little longer to heal completely. It was a little bit painful but after a few minutes fine. It's like that still now (we've DTD twice more) but the discomfort goes quicker. Certain positions are off limits though for the time being as it hurts a little too much. It doesnt hurt "in there", I think the scar is a little tender still.

I'd just go with how you feel. Take it slow to start with and if you need to stop, you need to. And yep stock up with lube for the first time. As well as helping dryness, I found it made things a lot easier as I pretty tense lol.