No interest in sex?

[suziette]

I don't know if this is really the right section for this, but anyway.
I gave birth to my baby girl 9 weeks ago; it was a great birth (haven't had time to sit quietly to write my birth story..), and I had no tears or stitches. I felt physically ok and we had a couple of intimate times without intercourse in the early weeks. I've gone onto to the minipill, but really I'm just not interested in sex at all. I couldn't even care less if we cuddle or kiss. I am tired sometimes, but not all the time, as things have definitely got a bit easier than in the early weeks home with a new baby. I was a bit surprised at how DTD did hurt the first time afterwards (This was at about 6 weeks) despite having no birth trauma.

Has anyone else experienced this complete lack of interest? My partner doesn't push me at all, but I'm starting to feel really guilty
Thanks.

[AnyDream]

Don't feel guilty, it's biologically normal to have lower oestrogen levels (and therefore a lowered sex drive) after birth, especially if you are breastfeeding (which prolongs the time the oestrogen is lowered). Kind of a natural contraceptive effect, I think! If it continues to hurt, see your doctor as you can get vaginal oestrogen cream which will help the tissues down there to repair themselves.

Hope that helps, truly don't feel bad, your body is doing what it is designed to do!

[IRENE07]

its only 9weeks... I think its normal

My DD is 20weeks old and I had 3rd degree tear...
stiches nearly healed.....

I still scared and not really interested...

I feel guilty too....

[Nadine216]

I have always had a low libido, but after dd, it's gone from low to none!! I had a c/s, so it's not that I have an "excuse". DH is contemplating buying me some pills to help get my libido up and running, but frankly - I am not interested at all.
Don't get me wrong, I love my DH and having sex with him is wonderfull. I have nothing against sex or had bad experience or anything like that. I just don't wanna - I prefer to sleep!
So I do think it's normal to be a bit "slow" after the birth of a child. You are tired and have lots on your mind, your body has changed and your attitude towards life has changed (personally)

Thumbs up for your partner not putting pressure on you!

[Visitor7]

Try not to feel guilty, as like the others have said, it's completely normal. Give it time and make sure you're feeling completely ready.

[New Dawn]

I too have always had a low libido too and having kids didn't help at all but slowly it will get back to normal but I'm lucky in someways as poor DH is away for two weeks and only home for one so I get a big brake with out feeling guilty but he still complains he doesnt get enough when he's home, every 2nd night ( maybe ) sorry TMI.

Even though you had a normal birth both my girls scrached me as the came out so maybe thats why it hurt but that too will pass.

[suse]

congrats on your little girls ladies!!

I'm currently 39 weeks, so can't comment personally on lack of libido post childbirth, but mine disappeared within about 10 seconds of becoming pregnant! And I was so hoping for the wonderful preggi libido surge that I've heard so much about! Poor DP... I think he's kinda hoping that I'll go overdue so that we can DTD in the name of getting this little guy out into the world.

I know that it's hard not to, but don't feel guilty - your libido will come back when it's ready! Possibly this is a bit TMI, but if you feel that you'd like to do something to "make DP happy" (so to speak), perhaps try something that doesn't involve actual intercourse until you feel 100% ready for it.

Don't be surprised if you need a bit of physical 'space' at the moment whilst your body and mind adjusts.

[Spring Angel]

My DS is 9 weeks on Monday and Ditto on the low sex drive.

How can you feel in the move with leaking boobs, flabby tummy and no sleep (lol) not the most romantic of circumstances but I'm sure with time it will get better. I think it it totally normal to feel as you do.

Lv Spring

[Nadine216]

Tali on DH complaining. My DH blames just about EVERYTHING on "too little sex" He has a cold - too little sex, his tummy is upset - too little sex, I feel a bit down - too little sex!! He is driving me nuts!!

I agree, Spring Angel!! When I was b'fing, I hated that the breastmilk would flow just as soon as ... well, you know

[RhiChiChi]

Don't worry, completely normal. My DD is nearly 20 weeks and we still haven't DTD. Sometimes I feel like it, but most of the time I just want to sleep or rest/chill out. My DH & I still cuddle etc.... but it goes no further. I think for me also is that I don't feel that attractive atm b/c of my flabby tum etc... Once I start to feel better about myself I am sure my libido will return to 'normal'.
I would take your time, you don't want to feel obligated or like it is a chore, you then may feel resenting dtd.

[Snacks]

You'll feel like it again one day. It has taken me 10 months, but I finally feel like my old self again. I never thought I'd see the day - I have been so absorbed in my 'maternal' body, rather than my 'sexual' one, but I think I've finally reached some sort of balance. It will happen. Give yourself time.
Also, like Marydean said, breastfeeding has made a difference to me in that department. Again, (along with the hormonal aspect) I was forced to shift the sexual aspect of my breasts to the maternal one, then back again! Honestly, its no wonder we get so tired as mothers - not only are there so many physical changes to get used to, but we have a lot of psychological demands on us. Now that DD is feeding less, I'm feeling less like my boobs are hers and more like they're mine (and DH's) again.

[suziette]

Thanks for the replies everyone; I feel a bit better now.
I guess part of it was a fear that he would go and seek it somewhere else, but that's just paranoia.
I do feel like I want 'space' at the end of the day (where is the end again?? lol), and yes, going from maternal breasts to sexual breasts is hard at the moment. I'd rather he just left them alone!
Anyway, we'll get there...