(please be gentle, it has taken me a lot to post this)

i want to know if what i see is normal, or ok (not 'normal' but variation from normal), or needs to have something done.

i had a VB 8 weeks ago, posterior bub, long pushing stage, vacc incl episiotomy

i feel violated by some of what happened (not ready to go into that) and so are not keen to have anyone looking down there at the moment. i refused examination at my 6 week appt, and they actually accepted this.

however, if i look at my vg there are extra pink bits that weren't there before. not sure if i tore internally and that's what i see or if when they cut me their repair was dodgy, or if bits are falling out, or i'm growing extra bits. is there somewhere on-line or a book i can get that has photos or descriptions i can compare to?

thank you