i had a 6 finger gap with DD, and who knows how big this time. not ready to work on it yet, but definitely will need to soon. i have already pulled muscle in my back just from coughing cos i don't have the tummy stability.
HotI - I do it at our local physio/osteo centre - my DH had been doing it for ages due to bad back, and I saw an osteo there due to back and shoulder issues and she said should do that to help with the separation which would in turn help back. There are definitely exercises you can do from very early - (they had me starting when in the hospital) - if you PM me your suburb I can ask at my place for a recommendation of someone in your area - there seem to be a fair few places about. Oh and I recommend using one of those tubi-grip things round your middle (I think you can get in pharmacies is like the stuff you put on your knees) - that helps alot in keeping things in and if are held together the muscle can start to knit back together plus helps with things like coughing (I know I used to dread coughing and hold myself if I knew one was coming).
i got a tubigrip with DD and wore it most of this pregnancy too. i saw the hospital physios when pregnant with DD and after. i know the early exercises to do, and managed to get my gap down to 2 finger gap before this pregnancy. i know i should start them again. i will PM you.
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