What women look like...

[paradise lost]

We all see what women look like every day on magazines and newspapers. Many many of us look in the mirror and sob at how "wrong" our bodies are by comparison.

So here are two links so we can all see what women REALLY look like:

The Shape Of A Mother You can search for specific areas or just read by date - each entry includes pictures and a personal story.

Normal Breasts The breastfeeding/ex-breastfeeding mamas are in the lettered galleries, the pre-baby women are in the numbered galleries.

Enjoy

Bx

[thepixie]

Great links Hoobley - what a shame the Shape of a Mother site has a Google ad for "Rule 1 of losing belly fat" in the bottom corner!
Love the breasts site too.

[paradise lost]

I know! I'm assuming the google links are there because google pay for the privilege and the actual searches are automatically generated by the terms in the blog titles. My gmail account does it too. Yesterday i was sending DP an email about the fact that i was ovulating and it gave me a link about early abortion! Bit much, but that's the "magic" of remote automatic search generation...

Bx

[Ca Plane Pour Moi]

And what about us long, lanky "you look like a model" people? Are we not real now .

Great post Bec but I'm real and my body is the envy of many a model. Shame I don't have the face to go with it . I'm just sick of people thinking I'm not real and I can't find clothes cheaply and the abuse you get about your size when you're like me is something you can't whinge about because taunting for being gorgeous isn't the same as taunting for not fitting in with those stupid (airbrushed) pictures.

[paradise lost]

If you actually look at the sites Ryn there are many skinny women there.

Bx

[Ca Plane Pour Moi]

It's the use of the word "real" that annoys me - I've been doing the same vent for years now! I hate that many people consider me not real. Particularly clothes shops that will do size 30 but not size 8, and if they do then only in "petite" because 6' and size 8 just isn't real. Getting clothes (especially T-shirts that cover my near-flat post-baby tum) is a nightmare - if only I were shorter or fatter I'd be fine!

We're all women, we're all real, we don't need pictures to prove that!

[Janie]

Thanks Bec I do have insecurities about my breasts, although I know they're reasonably 'normal'. It's always nice to be reassured that you're not the only one!

[Spring Angel]

That is exactly what I needed to see. I have many body issues and insecurities which seem to be getting worse since having my sons. I'm still feeding Oliver and have started to notice that my breasts are asymetrical and it's really been bothering me. It is wonderful to see pictures of woman who are not re-touched by computers.

Thanks so much for posting, those women are truely beautiful.

[paradise lost]

Ryn the "real" women on the sites are ALL shapes and sizes. Actually look.

I don't get why you're upset about this, there ARE women on there who have magazine-like figures, breasts, bums, faces, as well as other areas which aren't what the media would present at all, and women who have NO body parts who are magazine pretty and are nonetheless beautiful. There are big boobs, small boobs, tiny boobs, non existant boobs, perky boobs, saggy boobs, round boobs, long boobs, wide-spaced boobs, smooshed together boobs, symmetric boobs, assymetric boobs, gigiantic nipples, tiny nipples, pre and post nursing boobs, you name it. There are big bellies with masses of stretchies and section scars, flat toned bellies without a blemish, tiny waists, big waists, taut skin, apron bellies, big bums, tiny bums, toned bums, saggy bums, fat backs, skinny backs, bony chests, chubby chests, there are women who could have been pages in a fashion magazine with the head cut off (they're mainly anon pics), and women who say they spend their entire lives hiding under massive clothes because they feel so ugly. Every one of those women is real, and none is more real than the rest. The point of the sites is the diversity of normal reality, NOT that skinny women who happen to be the same shape as those in the magazines aren't real or worthy in some way. I seriously suggest you go and have a look, no one is left out, there is every type on there. Within 3 pages of boobs i'd found several sets JUST like mine, despite me feeling compared to my non-mummy friends i have huge misshapen saggy ones - many of those women hadn't had babies yet! It just shows a more realistic vision of womanhood, it does NOT exclude the media-friendly looking women from that vision.

Bx

[Nadine216]

This might be TOTALLY not what you intended, Bec ... but today I am happy to be me, because I could have looked worse, kwim?? Am I a vain cow or what!!!!!

Great links, I loved it ... just goes to show that EVERY woman is unique in her own way .. thin, fat, tall, short ..

Loved it!!

[butterfly_warrior]

Bec, can I think you from the bottom of my heart for posting those links?

I'm sure DH thinks I'm weird for sitting here essentially looking at boobs... but I'd always struggled to gain acceptance of my body, and pre-pregnancy was pretty happy. However, the changes with pregnancy have really thrown me, especially after my disastrous bra shopping expedition!

Now... I back once more to feeling so much better about myself. I know I'm lop-sided, but I can see now that it's PERFECTLY NORMAL!!! And my breasts are actually quite attractive in their own unique way.

I don't think recovering my body image is going to be a one night process, but it is so nice to know that these images are there... and motherhood isn't doing anything different to me than it has to every other mother on the planet - blotchy skin, stretch marks, saggy bits... I am at least well back on the path to loving my body once more.

Thank you, Bec.

BW

[visitor1]

Wow i am normal....but i am me...and no one but me can judge the way my boobs sag or my tummy has rolls.

I used to say im fat and feral....but looking at those pics..im still normal

Thank you so much Bec for showing others that everyone is NORMAL regardless if their shape or size

[Nadine216]

Yeah BW ... that is what I meant!!! I'm feeling sooooooo much better about myself!!

[thepixie]

I'm assuming the google links are there because google pay for the privilege and the actual searches are automatically generated by the terms in the blog titles.

Yeah I have noticed that Google ads are often directly opposed to the topic of the webpage and pretty inappropriate at times! LOL
thanks again for the links, it's good to see the diversity of women's bodies for a change instead of the usual body types portrayed by the media - ultra skinny with boobs, or ultra skinny without boobs!

[paradise lost]

You're welcome lovely! I think sometimes we need to have a visual reminder of the parameters of normal - i counted the assymetric boobs on one page and came up with a figure of about 30% - that's A LOT! Being naturally blonde or red-haired is SOOOOO much rarer! I also smiled to read so many women say "my one boob is bigger" because unless you LOOKED for it, you totally didn't notice it! It was obviously something the women in question looked FOR (one of mine is slightly bigger, not a whole cup size though, yet it seems a HUGE differnce to me, DP despite extensive "investigations" just can't see it. lol) and thus notice all the time.

Nadine i don't think you're mean at all, one of the things i loved about the sites was seeing women with such different bodies and asking myself how *I* would feel if i were them. It made me really question WHY i believe a certain look is beautiful...and it's because of the media!!! Every single one of those women's bodies does what it says on the tin, and yet i would have thought some unbeautiful because of some twisted perception of "normal" i have had fed to my eyeballs all these years.

If anyone else is as obsessive as me, i recommend having a good couple of hours looking, after a while you stop feeling attachment to the shapes you first liked, and begin to see the real beauty in swirling stretchmarks and the comforting pendulousnous of large saggy mothers breasts...

Bx

[Liz]

I don't really know what to say! LOL.

I understand your gripe Rosehip-Fairy. Not that I'm the envy of any models - far from it! But if we were to say something like this is how a REAL mother feeds her child.. well.. imagine the reaction.

Why is there so much comparison with women? We are what we are. Some things we can change, others we can't. Can't say I enjoyed seeing those 'real' women any more than the 'fake'. *shrug*

I'm certainly wearing the battle scars of pregnancy, not so much of breastfeeding.. if anything that's given me boobs & nipples LOL. But I've never been sensitive to all the models in magazines and things (probably helps I've never bought them hehe) so it doesn't worry me too much. Of course I have bits I'd rather cover up, but that's ok.. easy enough to do. hehe.

[visitor1]

I have more issues with my breasts then anything else...but some of those pics are a mirror image of mine.

1 bigger then the other, one higher then the other etc...the stretchies just add character :P

Im amused by the pics now!

[Karina]

Wow, so many diferent shapes and sizes..
Even though I know I'm totally normal, I seem a little abnormal now compared to most of those photos. ah well, i dont care!