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Thread: Baby Different Religion to Parents

  1. #1

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    Default Baby Different Religion to Parents

    Hi everyone,
    My question is this.
    Do you think it matters to christen your baby in a different religion to yourself and your husband?
    What are your thoughts?
    I am Greek orthodox (non practising, non believer) & husband is Roman Catholic (very minimal practising/believer).
    We are thinking of christening baby in the Anglican Church.
    =)


  2. #2

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    The whole thing about a christening is the child becoming part of the church community. IMO if you christen a child in any religion then you are also making a commitment to follow/practice that religion. How else will a child learn about God and the church's teachings if you don't take them to church?

    What is it about the Anglican Church that appeals to you? I am Anglican and was christened and confirmed in the church. My parents left it up to me to decide if we wanted to become involved in the church and when we did we got christened (was 10 years old). Not practising now mind you.

    On a purely practical level if you christen your child as a catholic they will have a better chance of getting into a catholic school when they grow up - if a private education is important to you. The Anglican schools are usually way more expensive LOL.

    ETA - just saw your post in the other thread and understand better your reasons. I also went to an Anglican school and feel that got a good balanced view of religion and a very good education. I have been thinking about schooling for my DS and see on most enrolment forms for church schools about being christened. I guess it all depends on the school and the faith.

    Good luck with your decision.
    Last edited by Saffi; June 22nd, 2008 at 07:35 PM. Reason: clarification

  3. #3

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    Personally we are not religious, however i am adament on a christening, or a "form" of christening. I dont really view a christening as a mandatory life sentence to a certain religion, i simply see it as a ceremony into "goodness".

    So i dont think it matters at all. Good luck with your decision.

  4. #4

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    Good post Saffi I agree, Christening, I think is basically an introduction ceremony into a specific church community... but i can see how it could mean other things to other people.

    To be really contradictory LOL I am currently being faced with the prospect of my 4yo not being accepted into a Catholic school because he is not Catholic This is not definite yet, just a possibility. They allow 10% of places to go to non-catholic but we could very well miss out. This is despite the fact that for the past 2 years he has been a regular attendee at church.... at least 2 Sundays out of every 4 Sundays per month. we want him to go to a school that reflects our Christian values.... and the thought of him missing out so that a child, who has been Christened Catholic but who has never been to church and comes from non-practising parents does annoy me I have to admit. Is this unfair of me? My children haven't been Christened yet. I could technically have him Christened a Catholic to ensure him a place... but I feel this is 'cheating'. I guess other parents don't see it this way though maybe...

  5. #5

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    I'm quite probably the worst person to ask LOL!

    If you intend bringing your child up in the Anglican Church and you believe in what a christening stands for, then go for it.

    If not, I wouldn't bother.

    And I certainly wouldn't christen my child in the Catholic Church simply to get into a Catholic school. To me that's just so, so wrong on so many levels.

  6. #6

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    Bath - have you explained to the school that you are waiting to give him the choice and that he is clearly a practicing catholic just not an official one? Maybe got a letter from your priest? I would have thought that they would be more keen to have people who actually reflected the views of the institution rather than those who weren't practicing but used it as a convenience.

  7. #7

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    I tend to agree Fiona. But why do non-practising catholics bother sending their kids to Catholic schools if they aren't going to "back up" what the school teaches at home?

    I just read in another thread that if my son attends a catholic school and he isn't a Catholic then he won't be able to take Communion with the other children Now that would devestate him. He loves the Communion ceremony at our church... it's only held once a month but that's the service we try hard not to miss. Maybe i should have second thoughts about the catholic option after all.

    ETA: thanks Muppity... I agree! My son would certainly be able to fit right in more-so than children from non-practising families. i have told the registrar at the catholic school that our priest is willing to write a letter of recommendation (he said he would) but she replied that that wouldn't really mean anything it's black or white... you are either christened catholic or not
    Last edited by Bathsheba; June 26th, 2008 at 05:33 PM.

  8. #8

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    To answer your question Bath ... because they're lazy. They want the benefits of a private education without putting in the hard yards at home. And again, to me, that's wrong.

    I think it's unfair that someone who has a bit of paper from a christening can automatically get into a Catholic school and I think it's unfair that someone who is obviously a practising Catholic can't without the piece of paper.

    But to be really honest, I think it's unfair that people can buy a better education for their child, full stop. But that's a different story.

  9. #9

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    Bath - to add - I was a noncatholic in a catholic primary school. You couldn't take communion until I think it was year 3 when you did 1st holy communion. Some teachers dealt with kids not having communion well and some didn't .

    The two extremes of my experience were as follows:
    the bad extreme was being excluded from class in year 3 while the majority of the class had "lessons" on how to take first communion - being excluded meant sitting on the steps outside the classroom with two other kids and being told not to move. This same teacher used to make the non catholics sit in the back of the church away from the rest of class (we didn't care - we used to play games and noone would notice).

    The good one was where I was given jobs to do in church instead. For two years I was in charge of the overhead projector that had the hymn/song words on it and I had to turn it on and move the overhead if it was a long one and then turn it off. It made me feel included in the proceedings and didn't draw attention to the fact that I wasn't taking communion like most of the kids were.

    If it is a concern maybe speak to the head teacher and ask how they deal with such situations.

  10. #10

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    When it comes to educating my children it's a shame that I have to pay to have spirituality and pastoral care incorporated into their schooling I don't think you should have to pay for that either.... but we've paid near 80K for this "privilege" for our DD (she's in yr 8 and attended Anglican schools). Government schools seem to think that spirituality should be erased from our lives.... as if it isn't a part of human history sorry OT personal vent.

    If we could afford it i would send my sons to Anglican schools. Their approach to religion is great. From my experience they teach a little bit of all the major religions and offer ongoing pastoral care that reflects our family values. But Anglican private schools charge 10 times as much as Catholic. I'm talking 10k per annum (Anglican) as opposed to 1k (Catholic)

    ETA: sorry Muppity, I missed your post again.... eeek! that sounds horrible! I wouldn't tolerate any form of exclusion But thanks for sharing your experience.... I'll definitely be looking into it.
    Last edited by Bathsheba; June 26th, 2008 at 05:54 PM.

  11. #11

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    That's interesting Bath ... I DO see your point. Why the discrepancy in fees do you think?

  12. #12

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    I assume it's because the Catholic Church is a wealthier entity and able to provide larger subsidies on behalf of the students
    Last edited by Bathsheba; June 26th, 2008 at 05:56 PM.

  13. #13

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    im catholic (minimal attendance) and my dh is anglican (no attendance/non believer but has faith- he just tried to explain & confused me) and we baptised ds anglican in march. I think its only a problem for some minsters. Ours said all godparents had to be baptised and at least one had to be anglican.

  14. #14

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    i simply see it as a ceremony into "goodness".
    That's similar to how I feel about it, Kitten.

    My DD will soon be baptised (Catholic ceremony) - even though I am a lapsed catholic (I now believe in more universal spiritual principles based on my personal mystical experience) it is really important to us to bless and give thanks for the life of our child. For me, the reality is that God is God no matter which vehicle you choose to worship the Godhead through. It is simply more natural for me to approach this momentous ceremony through a church whose conventions I am most familiar with, even though I believe the ceremony itself transcends the boundary of that church.

    Does that make sense? In times gone past this thinking would probably have made me a heretic!

  15. #15

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    My DH is Greek Orthodox and I am Catholic, we had a GO wedding (I had a disspensation from the Catholic Church) and our Daughters are both Christened GO, that being said both will hopefully attend the local RC school, DH has had more Catholic schooling than me, they won't be attending the GO schools as the one closest is very very biased "GO is the only way to go" whilst the RC schools are more open around here.

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