Yo yo, so pleased to hear you and your man are looking to return to church I hope there's a great one nearby to you!
But good question about babies - very considerate for you to be thinking about other people there!
The two churches I've mostly attended have been very kid friendly, with programs for kiddies 2 and over, and somewhere for parents to take their younger children, if they're crying or need feeding, or just to run around a little!
People understand that babies cry and wriggle and grizzle, and DH and I take turns taking our DS out to the parent's room (crying room, nursing room, whatever you want to call it) if he's being really noisy, but if he's just babbling away or grizzling to himself, we tend to stay put, if it's not too loud.
Our church has a nifty TV in the parents' room so we can still hear the worship and the sermon in there, so we don't have to keep popping in and out ... if we need to go out, we can just stay there, until he falls asleep
We also try to time his feeds so he's asleep during church (hopefully when he's a bit older, he'll be able to play with toys or colour or something ... but when he hits 2yrs, there's a program he can go to).
But I think it's pretty standard to either have a creche running, where a roster of mums and dads take care of the babies, so the other parents can stay in church, or to have somewhere soundproof where you can go to watch your bub play, but still hear the service.
I have been to a church where babies are not welcome, and I would not use a creche DS was not happy about. I now attennd a church where DS is allowed to stay in the service or go to Sunday School, but checked the rules first! I DS makes a fuss I do take him out, but he knows if he wants to stay with me he plays quietly at the side and doesn't disturb others - been a rule from day dot!
It's really important to me that babies and children in general be welcome to stay through mass regardless of the noise, running around, etc. I do find it helpful that there are places like crying rooms, etc. for the occasional times where it may be a bit unbearable. However, I personally wouldn't want to use one all the time - I think the community should celebrate mass together, so to be segregated all the time means that other church goers aren't connecting with me or my child. If babies are happily babbling away, I think this is really nice and shouldn't distract from the mass.
Where I go to church has a very, very large percentage of old people and not many families. DD was very keen on the happenings up at the altar and was a bit of a runner. I would normally let her go off within limits (ie. not up the steps at the front of the altar, but up and down the aisles was ok). This sometimes got me some looks or comments, although most were generally positive (some a little backhanded, LOL!). But I figured, these people hadn't really had much to do with kids for a while and it was a bit of an adjustment for them, more than me needing to be worried. Because we generally stayed within the normal part of the church for mass, DD is now very comfortable with the place and being a bit older will now join in with some of the songs and responses for the mass.
I also do some of the readings at some masses, and because DH doesn't come to mass, I would bring DD up to the microphone with me. I'm sure this was a little frowned upon, but there really wasn't much option. Now she is big enough to wait for me in our seats by herself. I now get so many comments about how well behaved she is (even though she probably was a bit of a terror earlier on). I think this is because she knows how it all works now.
I think I really wanted to make the point that DD is just as valid a member of the congregation as others.
I hope there's a great one nearby to you!
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