I'm sorry I haven't got back to you. I am so glad you bumped this thread as I had forgotten!

A book that you might find helpful is "Dance of the Dissident Daughter" I will have to come back with the authors name. She was a catholic woman who had feelings such as yours. There are some other good books too that I will give you the names of tomorrow. (I'm in bed! )

I understand well your feelings & I myself felt much like you. Please know that spirituality is a path (at least that is my belief that you are free of course to reject!). The path is never straight, & often isn't clear. But one day you look back & actually there is clarity to it. I believe we all have different paths to "Oneness" whatever that is for you. The journey is a very important part - for it is how we reach a destination that is often always out of complete reach. That's what keeps us thinking, growing, loving and evolving!

I will write more tomorrow & give you some good titles to help you. You should be able to get the book above through a regular bookstore.