Christmas time for non-Christians

[Nettie]

I'm a Pagan and I celebrate the Summer Solstice 'around' that time - so we do the whole Xmas thing (I do that too Teni!) and Santa is simply Father Time in a disguise - so no problem with Santa (even though he was popularised by the Coca Cola company ).

We have a small tree which sits on the kitchen table and is also an advent calendar where you put a decoration on the tree each day. As Liam gets older, I might make the decorations myself and have a Summer Solstice theme to them, but he's too young to understand yet.

I give cards, but I trowel through the boxes until I find one that says 'Season's Greetings' and no mention of 'Christmas'. It's hard work but I can usually find "a" box! I try to get the charity ones too...

Our extended family gets together for a lunch with crackers and all the usualy Xmas type things which is cool... they don't have a Christian connotation and none of the family we see on the day are practicing Christians so there's no ceremony.

Now I feel like I'm rambling too It's a hard topic to get a firm grasp on...

[meow]

Oh good thread! I've really enjoyed everyone's responses.

We're atheists (I agree roryrory- I called myself agnostic till I read 'The God Delusion' ) so we don't really have any religious occasions to celebrate. We celebrate the major Christian events of Christmas and Easter because we are culturally Christian. These are events we have grown up and I have so many great memories of carols by candlelight, waiting for Santa to come, hunting for easter eggs etc that I want to share that magic with my children. I'm happy to include the nativity story- I think it's a beautiful fable and I enjoyed it as a child too. I also belt out the most religious Christmas carols with vigor and passion- I really don't care what the words are, I just enjoy singing them We put out decorations, have a Christmas tree, play carols, spend the day having a big lunch with family and share presents.

[Ca Plane Pour Moi]

I would just like to point out that Santa isn't Christian! In other Christian countries, gifts are often given on St Nicholas' day, early in December, rather than on the 25th. Eggs at Easter are also about fertility, not Christianity. We're Christians with no Santa and no Easter Eggs (helps that DS is allergic to dairy in that case!). Yes, we do gifts of obligation as well as gifts of love at Christmas: I'd happily miss out on the gifts of obligation but it would hurt those I love to do no gifts at all. Hurting people because I don't like Santa or expectations of gifts isn't on.

This year we may not put up a Christmas Tree - we won't be here for the run-up to Christmas if all goes to plan and DH is allowed to take holiday (last year he was working on Christmas Eve). Sure it looks pretty, but tbh the best bit is DS putting on a new star every day after we do his Advent Bible Study. Not the pretty tree.

I don't need religious greetings in cards: they are so hard to find in the UK! I don't need snow. I don't need presents. A holiday from work and time with my family - I do that at other times of the year, but any excuse is a good one for me! It doesn't have to be about religion. But it's a good idea to think about what messages we convey with the imagery so we don't confuse our children, something I have to do very often!

[Cherished]

I looooove christams! dh and I have no religious ties to it but personally I love the decorations, the happy spirit of people in the community, the excitement of the little kids, the community celebrations, I love all the things it represents to me like a big family lunch (when I was a kid) hot weather, icecream, watermelon, swimming, HOLIDAYS etc etc it's just a wonderful festive time of year. Than as an adult it was about parties, wine, good food and again just so festive. dh and I are not into christmas so much now in terms of a family event, his dad and partner are not christian and it drives then nuts the 'commercial' aspect so for them it's just another day which is a shame cause I'd still like to have a nice day with them as in lunch and a catch up but if that happened on 'christmas day' they would feel like they are celebrating so we don't even bother asking them. In the past dh and I have had one christmas with his mum's side of the family, which was nice but not really 'that' fun and other we have just spent the day together. We never give anyone presents because that is not what it's all about for us, even for birthdays and anniversaries we would rather spend time together. So I'm pretty sure when our little bub is born christmas will be dh and our child/ren during the day, going to the beach or park for a picnic or something like that and then in the evening maybe seeing grandparents. I'd like my parents to be involved in all this but they live interstate and visit at other times of the year so they aren't really a consideration. When our kids are old enough to ask what christmas is about and where it come from etc we will tell them how it originated and now it's a lovely time in the year to get together as a family.

[meow]

But it's a good idea to think about what messages we convey with the imagery so we don't confuse our children, something I have to do very often!

What exactly are you referring to here? For me, I learnt the nativity story and the stories of Santa/reindeer etc. We had Christmas cards with snowy images even though we celebrated in summer time. I sang carols about being faithful, or dreaming of a white Christmas and none of it was relevent...but I remember loving every second and never being confused.

I have seen studies that indicate that learning about something magical, such as Santa, the Easter bunny, the tooth fairy etc in your childhood can really help with mental health as you are older. You've learnt about the possibility of magic and wonder and you've also learnt how to let go of something that you once thought was real, but it's okay to learn that it's not.