Just cos you don't like God being a fact doesn't mean that He is . Although there are enough stories from the Bible I grew up with that I grew up hating. Ever seen Addams Family Values? Morticia reads baby Pubert The Cat in the Hat:

"We looked and we saw him step in on the mat. We looked and we saw him: the cat in the hat. I know it is wet and the sun is not sunny, but we can have lots of good fun that is funny." (flips to back page.) "Oh no, he lives."

Other housebreakers include Goldilocks. I point out to DS that she is nothing more than a common thief who deserves to be eaten by bears. The bears eat her when I tell the story.