Debate - Raising your kids with religion

[suse]

Interesting thread!

I have a question which relates to a point that BW made - that in some faiths the prospect of salvation is intrinsically linked to the following of one's faith (I hope my understanding of this is right, but my understanding is that in Christian faiths one cannot attain salvation without knowing Jesus - is that correct?).

My question is, having raised your child according to your faith - what happens if they, of their own choice, decide to follow a different path, one without faith? A path that still follows the principles and morality that your faith teaches, the only difference being that they do not have faith. How do you reconcile this? Is it possible to reconcile your child's choice and be supportive of it whilst remaining true to one's own faith?

FWIW - I ask this question genuinely out of curiosity, it is not intended to challenge anyone's beliefs. The reason I ask is because I am atheist, whereas my family, particularly my grandparents, are staunch practising Christians. Despite their own strong personal faith and their adherence to the teachings of the Bible, they accept and respect my atheism without challenge, and I have often wondered how they are able to do this within the context of their teachings.

[butterfly_warrior]

Suse, you are correct in that Christianity does teach that the only way to be saved is to accept Jesus as saviour and follow him.

I can't speak for your family, but if Sam were to grow up and reject Christianity... while I may be able to show outward acceptance, there would be a great deal of inward grief and I would not stop praying for him to change his mind. Christians have this sneaky habit of praying behind your back, you see, and I'm sure that's the reason I ended up becoming a Christian myself.

BW

[christy]

My question is, having raised your child according to your faith - what happens if they, of their own choice, decide to follow a different path, one without faith? A path that still follows the principles and morality that your faith teaches, the only difference being that they do not have faith. How do you reconcile this? Is it possible to reconcile your child's choice and be supportive of it whilst remaining true to one's own faith?

Okay. Now I believe that salvation comes through Jesus yes. I also believe that if one of my children, chooses on their own to believe something else, or do not have faith I will probably be a bit sad in their choice (being TOTALLY honest and raw here everyone) but it is possible to reconcile their choice and be supportive. Because, as I said in my earlier post that got totally ignored (again see my point, it is all about me!) my truth in my beliefs is that God has called us to love, above all else. To me and not to be trying to bible beat etc etc, but Jesus said "They will know who you are for your love for each other" didn't just mean other Christians, but other people. Jesus loved others from other walks in life, he demonstrated that pretty clearly... so if we don't do that, we aren't truely following him. So I may be sad to not be sharing this with them would be just that, it will not mean I don't express love to them, the way they need it.

ETA: oscaroscar, DH was faced with a huge amount of opposition from his father for following Christianity.... and continued to face that opposition until his father passed away last year.

[Bumperstump Cummerbund]

Interesting thread!

I have a question which relates to a point that BW made - that in some faiths the prospect of salvation is intrinsically linked to the following of one's faith (I hope my understanding of this is right, but my understanding is that in Christian faiths one cannot attain salvation without knowing Jesus - is that correct?).

For me, yes that is true - I believe that my salvation can ONLY be secured my putting faith in Jesus' ransom sacrifice, and following the Bible to the end.

My question is, having raised your child according to your faith - what happens if they, of their own choice, decide to follow a different path, one without faith? A path that still follows the principles and morality that your faith teaches, the only difference being that they do not have faith. How do you reconcile this? Is it possible to reconcile your child's choice and be supportive of it whilst remaining true to one's own faith? [/QUOTE]

While I don't have a child, I do have 2 sisters that have chosen a different path - one of which is on BB and may or may not make an appearance in this thread But I have had to come to terms with the fact that according to my religion, there will come a time when she is no longer here. While I desperately wish she would come back to our religion, I respect her as a person, and respect that she has made her own choice. Believe me, if she ever decided to come back I would one of the first to help her, right behind my parents I think! But forcing someone to believe defeats the purpose, and proves nothing.

The only problem I have with reconciling her choice is that I don't understand how we could've been brought up in the same household, and have gotten such different ideas, or understandings on the Bible - but I guess it comes down to personal perspectives

I hope I've helped answer your question Suse, and if I've caused anyone offence, please PM me

[Maruschke]

Interesting thread!

I have a question which relates to a point that BW made - that in some faiths the prospect of salvation is intrinsically linked to the following of one's faith (I hope my understanding of this is right, but my understanding is that in Christian faiths one cannot attain salvation without knowing Jesus - is that correct?).

My question is, having raised your child according to your faith - what happens if they, of their own choice, decide to follow a different path, one without faith? A path that still follows the principles and morality that your faith teaches, the only difference being that they do not have faith. How do you reconcile this? Is it possible to reconcile your child's choice and be supportive of it whilst remaining true to one's own faith?

FWIW - I ask this question genuinely out of curiosity, it is not intended to challenge anyone's beliefs. The reason I ask is because I am atheist, whereas my family, particularly my grandparents, are staunch practising Christians. Despite their own strong personal faith and their adherence to the teachings of the Bible, they accept and respect my atheism without challenge, and I have often wondered how they are able to do this within the context of their teachings.

This is where I hoped the thread would go. I am a christian. If my child did not follow christian beliefs, then according to the bible, I would have to conclude that s/he is not saved. This would break my heart and cause much anguish! However, I am aware that I cannot force or cause my child's salvation, I can only share my faith with them and pray. Given this inability, I would love and cherish my child, and do whatever I could to keep them in my life, having them know they were loved, and hope that my life would eventually show them the truth and convert them. What else could I do? Failing to accept them and love them would probably push them further away from the religion I believe to be true, because I have been a bad witness. However, I would have to love and accept them, without accepting their beliefs.

I understand that this is different to the approach that Deb (FC) outlined she has for her children. (No judgement on you Deb, I just have a different opinion here ). I guess this means that at times, the house rules that I set down, and the behaviour that I accept, would clash with my daughters free will (if she chose not to follow my beliefs).

crying baby brb...

[Rouge]

I grew up with atheist parents, and I followed up christianity on my own. I went to church, they did not. At one point the minister and his family would pick me up on the way to church. I am no longer christian but even though they weren't they never stopped me. They never made me feel my faith at the time was wrong. And I am very grateful because they taught me to appreciate all religions, and never ever made me feel as though atheism was the only way.

[HotI]

My question is, having raised your child according to your faith - what happens if they, of their own choice, decide to follow a different path, one without faith? A path that still follows the principles and morality that your faith teaches, the only difference being that they do not have faith. How do you reconcile this? Is it possible to reconcile your child's choice and be supportive of it whilst remaining true to one's own faith?

My Dad's Mum is a mormon. Dad was excommunicated years ago after he married Mum (he was asked to go to a meeting if he wanted to continue in the church and didn't turn up). However, Nan has said that in the mormon church they can baptise you by proxy, even after you are dead, which then 'saves' you and lets you enjoy the good life. So, although she would like Dad to follow the church now, even if he doesn't she will try to get him to the good side eventually.

This thread has shown that some people try out different religions over their lifetime and sometimes return to their childhood one at some point or incorporate some of their early beliefs with new ones. As a parent, you never say never and although it might hurt if your kids are trying out new religions/beliefs over time they might work out their faith beliefs, and they may be stronger with a deeper understanding than if they had never investigated.

I don't want my kids to believe what i believe because i tell them to, but because they have worked through it themselves and come up with their own conclusions.

[LimeSlice]

Just to run off on yet another tangent here...lol *how unusual for me*

Just pondering kids having different faiths to their parents and Deb's situation with her daughter taking up an Islamic path...
I understand that you are happy with that and will support her whatever she chooses, which I think is wonderful.
With reference to the question of how do parents reconcile their children's faith if it goes in direct opposition to beliefs held by the parents. We have focused a lot on the Christian/Salvation aspect of this, but I have been musing about how I would feel if Charlotte took up path that led her to people that perhaps would have been brought up with such a singular and intolerant view of religion, or had some beliefs (be it culturally or religiously) that affected how they perceive the roles of men and women, health, children, life basically.

This isnt making sense! lol I am trying not to offend anyone. So I will just say it - please dont be offended anyone, I hope what I am asking will be clear, I am taking the thought to the enth degree here...lol

Deb, how would you feel/handle a situation where your DD continued her path as a Muslim woman, and that led her to marriage with a very strict Muslim, with views about women and their roles in family and life that were in direct opposition to yours and how you had raised her as an empowered female?
Obviously her choice in the matter is paramount and if she chooses such a path then that is wonderful for her and her happiness. But how would YOU deal with her marrying a man who believed that she should be subservient to him? Or married a man who was raised in Saudi Arabia and they returned there and its very strict laws? How would you cope if she were in a situation that she chose and accepted as how things should be if her daughters were circumcised?

Like I said, these are obvious extreme examples I am using to illustrate the point. I am by no means suggesting that Muslim men are all abusive or that the faith itself dictates some of the more sensationalised aspects of many Islamic cultures. Just trying to see the extent to which ones endurance in such a delicate personal situation could stretch.
I am not sure if I could be fully supportive of Charlotte if she put herself in a position of disempowerment to any man or faith, if that makes sense. So I suppose this is the dilema of how religion can impact cultural practice. Where it is not the faith itself that sets up a situation, but rather how that faith is interpreted and effected by those who follow it?