Debate - Raising your kids with religion

[Indadhanu]

Oh interesting question Lime - I am with Bec. Unless the choices Jazz makes are causing her pain (emotional or physical) then its not my place to say she is wrong. Different isn't wrong, its different. I would ask her if she is happy, and if she says yes, and i can see it, thats enough. As long as she is loved, loving, happy, respected and respectful to others, then I would be happy and proud!

[Eugenia]

LS, that is a very interesting question indeed.

Even if your child never leaves your religion they can still take paths that are, well, bizarre. I was thinking something similar the other day, I know a Christian woman whose husband fell into the hands of a Christian cult. They started off appearing helpful and nice but soon started telling them how to live their life and turned him into a controlling, verbally abusive man. The advice she got from all her Christian friends? Leave him, now! Unfortunately she didn't as her beliefs are very anti divorce or separation. How would I handle that if this were my daughter? I would become the interfering MIL everybody hates. I couldn't just sit back and watch even if she claimed that supporting her husband in this made her happy. I would be in there with books, tracts and Bible verses to convince her that the Christianity this group preaches is not the same as that of the Bible. I would be offering real, physical assistance (he took away her car). And, of course, praying A LOT.

[Jennifer13]

This is my take on what my child or any other person in my life may choose wrt religion:

I am not God. My faith is based on my interpretation of what I read, hear and see, and my own experiences. Not being all-knowing, I am in no position to judge anyone else or their life. So how can I write someone off because I do not see their path as being the same as one I would choose? I believe God judges everyone on their merits and is able to take into account all things in this person's life. BUT if I am not true to what I believe, then I would think I am falling short of what can be expected of me. Including in the way I raise my children, regardless of the paths they choose. I agree with Christy, I believe the most important thing is love, and this is what God considers first and foremost.

To illustrate: I left the religion of my parents because when I went to those in authority with a serious problem that they could do something about, they did nothing. Instead, rumours about me were spread and clearly there was no love or Christ-like behaviour among them. It may have been specific to that congregation, or it may be indicative of the entire church, I do not know. But I left and eventually (after a period of non-faith) found a place where all of those things that I believe to be Christian exist, albeit imperfectly. According to my childhood religion, I am excommunicated and devoid of salvation. But they don't really know what God thinks, so they could be right or they could be wrong.

So if I had died while following the first faith, would I have been granted eternal salvation? What about while faith-less? Or now, with my current beliefs? See, to me, I am the same person and this has just been my journey of faith. So if I am worthy of eternal salvation, I believe God will know my heart at each stage, regardless of outward appearances or claims. And if Islam is in fact the one true religion, will Allah judge me harshly because I did not grow up in an environment where I was taught these beliefs and have not examined them for myself? What about those people living in communist China, or tribes in Africa? How are they to evaluate all religions and choose the one that is right?

I personally don't think God is as black and white as that. I think he takes into account our hearts and our spirits outside of our cultural and societal teachings and exposure. I think being true to yourself and what you feel in your heart to be right and spiritual is the best you can do, and God expects you to do your best.

(I should add that I do think there are clear boundaries inherent in humanity and all societies that preclude someone practicing extreme, inhuman behaviour, whether they think it is 'right' or not.)