I try to accept that that is how my dad is feeling... but I just can't quite understand it. I know that he seems to fear death... on the same day my 3yo tried to hand an arum lily to him when were out in our garden and he stepped back away from it not wanting to even touch it... he said "haven't you heard that if you touch a Death Lily you will be touched by death itself?" meaning that you might not die but somebody you know will. This totally surprised me! I didn't think my dad was superstitous!!! I love arum lilies LOL I pick them all the time for the house. Seems my dad and I are on very different wave-lengths when it comes to death.
I am full of contadictions, I have prayed to god, but I'm not sure he is there. I judge myself harshly yet can make excuses for others, I think that there is way more to life and death then I will know about in this life time but sometimes think that like our dad said, that you live, you die, end of story. I like to treat this life as though I am on a journey, learning as I go. If there is more to come I guess it will.
I try to "wear" the feeling that the lights do just switch off and that's it... but I get the same feeling as when I try to wear other things like "there is no such thing as ghosts". a nagging little voice says: "the reality is something you can't begin to concieve... but keep an open mind... you are closer to the truth in believing than not". If that makes any sense LOL
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a nagging little voice says: "the reality is something you can't begin to concieve... but keep an open mind... you are closer to the truth in believing than not". If that makes any sense LOL
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