thread: Has your spirituality impacted on your birthing/parenting decisions?

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  1. #1
    Registered User

    Feb 2007
    1,219

    Has your spirituality impacted on your birthing/parenting decisions?

    Do you feel that your spiritual beliefs have had an impact on your choices through either your pregnancy, birthing or parenting decisions? Have you felt there have been any negative consequences or pressures because of it?

    I'm trying for a natural drug free birth, straight away baby bonding and don't believe in circumcision. I've felt a lot of pressure to be drug free and breastfeed though from people in a similar spiritual circle. Drug free is mostly a fear of unknown side effects as I have bad reactions to drugs as well as not wanting them to hurt Ryan and want to breastfeed but also incorporate formula feeding as well so I can work over the Christmas break and have Ryan in daycare to get a bit more money to pay bills etc. Have had a lot of people look down on me for wanting to do both boob and formula and also for chosing to use Daycare at a young age.

    Anyone else felt any pressure, negative comments from people in their similar/shared religious/spiritual circles?

  2. #2
    BellyBelly Member

    Oct 2004
    Cairns QLD
    5,471

    I can't say that I have. But have you thought about EBM instead of FF for those times you need to be able to give a bottle?
    I believe that you have every right to do what is right for your family regardless of what your religious or spiritual circles think.

  3. #3
    Registered User

    Jul 2006
    In Doula~ville
    1,112

    sweetheart anyone spiritual as they claim to be will acept whatever choices you make for yourself and your child. Being spiritual does not give anyone the right to tell another how things should be done or not done, you came into this world to have your own life lessons and to have your own experiences, no one can tell you how to have them. If they are spiritual they will love and support you no matter what you decide to do or not do with yourself or your child. Being spiritual is all about "Love" how to feel it, give it, accept it. The hardest lesson for a person is learning to accept everyone for who they are and letting them just "Be" and having no judgements towards others.


    You do whatever you feel is right for you and bubs ok, and so long as you are doing it with love, bugger what others think. No one was made master of the earth to be that holy to tell another how to live there life. Tell them its nice they are trying to give there opinion but in the end its how you want it to work for you and your child. Send them love and light, and go on your merry way.


    Opinions are like bottom holes, everyone has one!!

  4. #4
    BellyBelly Member

    Oct 2004
    Cairns QLD
    5,471

    Great post Soul

  5. #5
    Registered User

    May 2007
    Wagga Wagga
    264

    Agreed, especially what you said about it being the hardest part to accept people as they are and not pass judgement. That's my big failing, and I really hope DH and I can raise our kids to not be judgemental, and to see the beauty and dignity of each person.

    Lisa xx

  6. #6
    Registered User

    Feb 2007
    1,219

    Thank you for your loving and reassuring post. I was just a bit down as I told them I was getting a 4D scan and participating in a study to try and help predict problem births before they arise and instead of "oh wow how exciting" it was a "why would you do that to your child? don't you know how bad those scans are just because you can't wait another week or two to see him" and got told how selfish I was being putting my baby at risk to all these "unnatural energies". Was just a little disheartening.

    I have thought about expressing to put "boob in a bottle" but I'd really like Ryan to have at least one formula bottle a day just to make sure if I'm lacking some vitamins in booby milk it's in the formula and also have it as something Dad2be can do if I'm not here so he feels more involved as well as he can "make" the food in a sense, if that makes sense?

    I know it's just their beliefs, and they want the best for me, and I appreciate that is their opinion but it's still hurtful to have it implied your a bad mum before your bubs is even born . As I told them I have a guaranteed job over christmas break we need that money to help us survive a bit better, 2-3 months in daycare then 1 day a week to keep Ryan used to daycare and stop mum having a mental breakdown won't turn him into a mental case. I'm thinking I won't be talking to a fair few of them till after I finish work, I'm sick of being told "you can't chose when you want to be a mum and put him away when you have other things to do" don't need the extra stress..

  7. #7
    Registered User

    Sep 2007
    Off with the fairies
    470

    You sound like a really caring thoughtful mum. It's too hard to please other people all the time, it is best to work out what is right for your family then stick to it and don't feel like you have to explain yourself to anyone. be strong

  8. #8
    BellyBelly Member

    Oct 2004
    Cairns QLD
    5,471

    I have thought about expressing to put "boob in a bottle" but I'd really like Ryan to have at least one formula bottle a day just to make sure if I'm lacking some vitamins in booby milk it's in the formula and also have it as something Dad2be can do if I'm not here so he feels more involved as well as he can "make" the food in a sense, if that makes sense?
    I know this thread isn't about BFing & you are the only person who can decide what is best for your family. I just wanted to say that as long as you have a balance diet your BM will provide everything Ryan will need. Formula only has a tiny tiny fraction of what BM has in in regards to vitamins etc. So don't doubt your abilties to provide for your baby. I have 3 healthy children, all exclusively BF beyond 6 months & then self weaned. None have every had a drop of formula & I wouldn't say I have the healthiest of diets.
    On the side of Dad2be being involved in that part of the parenting. i think its fantastic that both you & him are wanting him to have a part in Ryans feeding. Really when they are new its a big part of there little lives. They pretty much sleep & eat! But I would like to suggest that you hold off on introducing any bottle feeds (EBM or FF) untill Ryan is at least 6 to 8 weeks old. This time will allow your milk supply to become well established & Ryan wont have any confussion between nipple & bottle teat.
    In the mean time Dad2be can do things like Bring Ryan to you for BF's or it can be his job to help Ryan settle after a BF or burping etc. There are lots of things Fathers can do to help bond with a new baby.
    While I understand alot of new parents/parents to be want to let dad have a turn at feeding. Breastfeeding is important and establishing a good breastfeeding relationship in the early days is vital for breastfeeding to be as trouble free as possible.
    Please if you would like any further information PM or email me & I would be more then happy to offer any support/suggestions that I can.

  9. #9
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