Thankyou all for your kind words. Yes it was a very traumatic time for us. I was very young and niave. Thankyou for the cyberhugs . I grew up pretty quickly after that. I do feel better for having told my story, and for having remembered my angel, not that he's forgotten ever. And yes DH and I do have our beautiful little monkey Lily now who is the light of our lives, as well as each other and the strength in our relationship that only such sadness and pain can bring. Again thankyou all.