Ectopic and now a miscarriage? Poo to the world.

[Meggles]

I'm so ****ed off at the world right now.

I had an ectopic pregnancy in December and fell pregnant again quite quickly in February. I was 9 weeks yesterday, and on an ultrasound today we discovered that baby stopped growing about a week ago and I am miscarrying.

I'm going into hospital tomorrow for a d&c.

I'm just confused. I have a history of depression and anxiety, and in the past always thought that if I ever had a pregnancy loss I would absolutely fall apart and not cope.

But after the ectopic, I had a little cry but was okay. Was even laughing at a movie the next day with my partner and carrying on somewhat as usual. I've had a few moments since then where I've had a little cry or sulk or felt sorry for myself, but I've mostly been okay - I was just keen to try again.

And today, I went home and sobbed for about 20 minutes or so, then got up and got on with it. I'm bummed out and angry, but not devestated. I guess I just want it over with so I can get back to normal and start all over again.


I feel like I should be feeling more, but I'm okay with it - I really am. Sure, I'm upset and angry but I'm not freaking out or not coping, I'm just bummed out about it.

And I know myself - I know this isn't one of those times where in a few months time I'll finally fall apart - I'm just okay.


I don't even know what the point of this thread was ... I guess just writing down how I'm feeling helps. Or maybe it just confused me more! Hehe

Oh well. I just want it over with. The cramping I'm having right now is getting worse and if my baby has died there's no point in continuing on like this - I want it all over with so I can move on and try again in a few months.

[believer]

Hi Meggles,

I am sorry to hear of your losses.

I understand how you are feeling, when I lost our bub, I was sad for a while but also was okay with it quite quickly. I just wanted to start again asap too.

Hugs for you, I pray for you that the actual miscarriage won't be to painful for you and that you will stay okay.

Here is some babydust with sticky vibes for number 3!

Madelon

[lozzy_mac]

hey lovely.

really feeling for you.
I dont think there is a right way to feel, we never know how we'll react to things like this. I think having the ectopic means that you're always expecting something else to go wrong. So when it does, its not really a surprise. And at least this time you can keep your tube and not have such a bad surgery.

Just look after yourself. Its good that you're aware of your history and you seem really in tune with how you feel. Dont pressure yourself to feel a certain way but please just make sure you ask for help if things change and you do start to feel worse.

Hoping that the D&C stops the cramping and that its not too bad for you.

[Bengal]

Oh I had an ectopic in Dec as well, I know, like many others, it is so devastating.

Big hugs to you, I could imagine having a second loss, in such a short time, would be very disheartining. The universe can be so cruel at times.

Did you have medication for your ectopic or did you remove the tube ?

[Rach75]

many

I too had a ectopic as my first pg I followed it up with the s/b of my daughter than 2 more m/c before I finally brought a baby home, sometimes the world does suck

[Meggles]

Did you have medication for your ectopic or did you remove the tube ?

No medication, had a salpingectomy - left tube was removed. It was quite scarred and damaged, so leaving it there risked more ectopics.


Thanks for all of the replies guys. I'm feeling okay.

[chody47]

Oh Meggles, I'm so sorry to hear about your miscarriage. I was really hoping that all the rest of you in our bellies group would fly through without any issues. Thinking of you

[chody47]

How are you going Meggles?

[dory]

Hey meggles - you sounds so much like me! I'll share why later. I just wanted to say, I am so so sorry. How are you coping after your D&C? Thinking of you and sending you big hugs.

After Sophie, I was really worried about myself, as I was "ok" and wasn't crying the same way as I had before. In time I got to the point where I felt like I was grieiving properly again, but each bereavement takes us on a different grief journey and none are exactly the same.

I just hope that ok is still ok. Thinking of you.

[kelbel]

I'm so sorry to hear this.

I too had an ectopic (my tube was saved), then a m/c at 5 weeks a few months later.

Not long after the m/c I discovered I was pg with my son.

It took me huge loss to discover that I didn't grieve for my previous losses, I guess I too just expected things not to go right.

Take care of yourself sweetie, there is no right or wrong way to deal with what you have to. You just have to do what feels what's right for you.

Big hugs
xx