My Story My babies our in heaven

[xx Sparkles xx]

My story

I am a recurrent unexplained missed miscarriage patient of 10 missed miscarriages
2 blighted ovums 1 molar and 5 chemical pregnancys - my missed miscarriages all unexplained - heartbeat stop at 8/10 wks - after many many tests to see why this happens - nothing shows up positive. I have been given asprin and fragmin injections while pregnant for support which has not worked. In december 2009 i got pg and recently suffered another mmc on the 7th jan this year - i was given steriods called prednisilone along with progesterone for support which never worked - i went in hospital for a d&c on the 12th jan and having tissue tests chromosome and karytyping on baby.
I dont want to give up ttc but then i cant go on ttc to suffer loss after loss unexplained.

I have decided to adopt somthing me and my dh has thought about for 3yrs now and we start out training very soon - but i still have this urge to have 1 last go ttc with the steriods - as it was our 1st try using the steriods. I dont know what to do as i dont want to suffer another loss but want to give it 1 more go its just heartbreaking and headwrecking! Maybe i just cant accept that we wont have our own having had this many losses so and i just dont want to give up yet!

Just wish and pray there was a wand to take away this hurt and give me and my dh our little one that we have longed for - but i cant see that happing biolgically and only though adoption. We will love our little adoptive child as our own and die for that child but i want to ttc my own one last chance and finding it hard to decide because i dont want to suffer another loss - my dh thinks we should give it one more go at ttc our own as we dont feel we have given steriods a chance having only used them onec.

What would any of you do ?

xxxx

[AliCat]

Oh sparkles you & your DH have been through so much. I'm sorry to hear that you have not been able to get any answers as to why this happens each time.

I don't know what i'd do if I was in your situation. If you do decide to give it one more go I hope with all my heart that your wish for your own baby comes true but if you do decide to go down the adoption road that child will be very lucky to have you as a mum.

You will know what is right for you & DH. Sorry I couldn't give you a better answer, good luck whatever you choose.

[xx Sparkles xx]

Hi Alicat thanks for replying to my post hun - we have decided we will give it one more go ttc when i have my next af - i think if i dont ttc i will always wonder what if - I just pray i get some decent answers for this loss with the tissue sample results - thesa i get in april, and god is kinda to me and helps me carry to term.

xx

[Rach75]

many many

[dory]

Sparkles

Sweet blossom, so much heartache. I too am a recurrent m/c patient, but very different circumstances to you. I am in such awe of your strength and determination. It does take such courage to try again, because for recurrent m/c ers, there are no happier endings, only heartbreak. So to try again is to well and truly accept the prospect of facing more heartbreak.

I don't know what I'd do. Only you and DH can make that decision about whether you can face more heartbreak.

My DH and I have decided to TCC again, and we have been blessed with the bittersweet blessing of a bfp. I am excited, don't get me wrong, and as much as I try to put on a brave face, fear of another heartbreak is my constant companion, but you know what that's like.

Hey, but just on aside. I am adopted and it is a true blessing to me. I know that I am loved and that somewhere out there, someone once had to make a very difficult decision, to put their precious child up for adoption, and I would imagine it's a decision that they would still think about. It's only through this journey of m/c that I truly appreciated that the decision to adopt may have actually been hard rather than just pure convenience. I deeply honour the decision that was made to adopt me, and am blessed to have been adopted by some truly loving and dedicated parents who gave me every opportunity that they could. BTW from my earliest memory I have known that I was adopted. I have a friend who is adopted and she always knew too. I have another friend who was told when she was 13, and the poor girl slid into depression for a number of years. I don't know what the "experts" now recommend, but from my own experiences, knowledge, obviously at an age appropriate level, right from the start seems to work better.

Good luck with your decision. I think I read you were going to give TCC a try. Good luck, but also god luck with your adoption process.

God speed to you.