Feeling alone

[Evansmum]

Hi all, i'm Belinda - mum to Evan whos 18 months.

I'm currently going through my first miscarriage, and I am feeling completely alone, and left in the dark

I have had no medical direction or reassurance (other than they cannot prevent it), i'm an emotional wreck not just because of a pregnancy loss, but also because I have no idea what's happening, how long this will go for or what i'm meant to be doing!!

I had very light bleeding for about a week + abdo cramping, just last night it's turned into ver heavy bleeding and clots. The physical pain is almost unbearable.

Is this normal??

[~ Zarava Flutterby ~]

sorry no advice but i couldn't read without replying.
I hope someone has some more information for you and i hope the physical pain is gone ASAP for you.

[coolshades]

Hi Belinda, Sorry you feel this way, I myself have been there and know how you feel, how far were you along, I was 10 weeks, I had spotting then over the next day it turned to cramping and then blood clots, then I went for an ultra sound to check the baby had passed and after drinking all the water for the ultra sound, I had to rush to the toilet and lost a whole heap more. Then it eased. See how you go, if by tomorrow afternoon you are still in a lot of pain, it might be worth going to your doctor and just telling them and they may send you for an ultra sound to check it's all come out (I don't mean to sound insensitive) but it's a concern if it all doesn't come out as you may get ill. I surpose it's journey only you can take as it's happening to your body, but doctor's don't seem in explain it in much detail, and assume you know what's going to happen and how your going to feel. Well meaning people may say, well it's not meant to be, try again. It's not really helping at the time because your dealing with your loss, it is and was a baby to you, and you had made plans and you had made a connection and were constantly thinking of this new little life inside you. Cry a lot and hug your husband/partner if you can, if not hug those close to you, Mum's and girlfriends are often good! Let yourself feel, don't worry about other's, it's very personnel and it's a hard experience to go through, so I'm thinking of you and your not alone, there's others that feel and have felt the same, but there's nothing wrong with that, it's good to feel, it's naturual and it's your bodies way and helping you cope. You will be alright and you have your beautiful little boy to make you smile again and he loves you very, very much Mummy and he will give you lots of cuddles. Feel Belinda and see your Doctor if the pain continues for too long, don't feel silly for going to your Doctor, better to be cautious then get sick. Hang in there it will get better, but feeling is all part of it and remember your not alone even though you feel like it at the moment. Keep messaging us and that will make you feel better too. Sending hugs to you for this moment.......

[MsKara]

Hi Belinda

Firstly, I am so, so sorry for your loss

I understand what you mean about the lack of medical direction. I experienced the same thing during my loss in Feb. I also bled lightly for a week, then had heavy bleeding, clotting and horrible pain. I was so worried the last night of heavy bleeding that I called the Nurse On Call service and was advised that if the pain became too bad, or I was bleeding enough that I had to change pads often I should immediately go to the emergency room. I did end up going that night due to the pain.

I think the other ladies here have given some really good advice. I don't think I would have made it through my loss without the advice and support I feel I've received here. Friends and family can be fantastic, but unless they've been through this themselves I think it's hard for them to know what we go through.

Your pain won't ever leave completely, and you won't ever forget, but it becomes easier to deal with as the time passes.

[RhiChiChi]

Hi Belinda

Your pain won't ever leave completely, and you won't ever forget, but it becomes easier to deal with as the time passes.

So true *hugs*

[Evansmum]

Hi all , I really can't thankyou all enough for your lovely and reassuring replies!!

I'm doing alot better - just to bring you up to date on what's developed...........

I went and seen my GP - she was excellent and actually discovered that the week before when I went to the emergency department at hospital with bleeding/cramps, that I should have had an anti-D injection as I am a negative blood group. She said that there's a possibility that I was having so much pain for so long, because a cross-over of blood groups was happening, and I was in the beginnings of a reacion that may have turned bad.

After having blood taken at the GP's I went the hospital, where they decided to take more!!
I got to the hospital at 1pm, and didn't get home until about 7:30pm. I was so angry, upset and frustrated!! First, the DR. was trying to convince me that i'm not pregnant, then she was trying to convince me that I might have not miscarried at all......then she was wondering whther or not I really need this injection!!! Grrrr

In the last week I have had 3 ultrasounds (including internal), 4 blood tests, and an internal vaginal examination last night.

After such an emotionally draining day of waiting at the hospital, the Dr. finally confirmed I was pregnant, and that I have suffered a miscarriage!! I know this sound awful, but I was so relieved and happy when she told me (although I could have slapped her). I said to her "I know this already, but you all have been telling me so many conflicting stories over the last week, which could cause a less stable person to go nuts!" Its like everything has been 100% confirmed, and now I can finally face it, and move on!

The internal examination revealed my cervix is still open, meaning I am still loosing. I am still bleeding quite heavily (but less clots), and thankfully after the ultrasound and examinations, they've assured me I will not need anymore medical intervention! So I just have to see the rest of this out naturally....which is ok with me.

The good news out of all this is - they've discovered I do not have a uterine mass like the sonographer stated last week. I do not have a cyst on each ovary like the sonographer stated last week. And I have also been told that there is no signs that I have PCOS.....which I was diagnosed about 3 years ago!

I am going to see the vagina Dr's today..........and after that........my bits are having a holiday from being looked at, poked and prodded for a good while!!

Thanx again everyone, your kind words and thoughts have made my day! xxx

[RhiChiChi]

Hi Belinda,

I am terribly sorry for your loss. I know it is hard not to feel alone & isolated when going through a m/c, but please be assured that you ARE NOT alone. BB is a great place for emotional support for you during this terrible time.

Firstly, I would go and have an appt with your GP/medical provider and request a HCG blood test and ulstrasound. You should get two blood tests, the first one to see what your HCG levels are and the second a few days/week later to confirm if they are reducing or increasing. The u/s will also confirm if you are in fact m/c / still m/c and it will help determine what the next course of action is, whether or not to continue to m/c 'naturally' or have a D&C.

In relation to your question about whether the pain and heavy bleeding & clots is normal - unfortunately yes and the further along in your pg you are, the more pain, bleeding and clots you will have.

Please, please go and see your GP and come back to BB for the continued support during this time and afterwards.