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Thread: Help for friend

  1. #1
    LizzysMum Guest

    Default Help for friend

    I hope this is in the right spot - apologies if not.



    A friend and his wife just lost one of their twin girls after 1 week of life. I would like to get them something to acknowledge her as well as the surviving twin.

    I have no idea what to say to them and I know anything I say would not help anyway - how could it? But I don't want to avoid them and make them feel worse and I also think it is important I acknowledge their Angel girl as well as their surviving daughter.

    Could anyone give me some ideas that would be suitable and not tacky? I was thinking an Angel Bear but can't find any I like??

    Any help is much appreciated.

    Many Thanks,

  2. #2

    Default

    I am so sorry for your friend's loss. Avoiding them is definitely the wrong thing to do. They need to know that they have support and that people care. I think buying an angel bear for their angel is a good idea and perhaps just a bear for the sister. Acknowledgement is the most important thing to do. You must be a great friend for caring so much to ask

  3. #3

    Join Date
    May 2007
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    Out of my mind.... back in 10 mins.
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    Hi Leah
    I am sorry to hear about your friends news. Your heart is in the right place. Your friend is lucky to have you as her friend. I agree with Lynn, acknowledge both babies. Maybe an angel ornament (for mum and her lost angel) and a gift for the baby. Encourage your friend to talk about her lost angel as she might be holding alot in because she may feel like she has to be happy for the baby she has in her arms. She must be going through alot and she needs a good friend by her side.

    Chris

  4. #4

    Join Date
    Jun 2007
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    Colorado, USA
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    I am so sorry for your friend and her dh, and so glad that they have a friend like you to help them through. like the others said, there is nothing to be done but to be with her in her pain of losing her child. your idea to acknowledge both of the twins is perfect. there are many ways -- i found a jewelry site that provides little heart necklaces with the name of the angel and a birth stone. i wear it every day. that way, your friend could have contact with both of her precious children at least in some way. big hugs to you for your friendship and compassion. m

  5. #5

    Join Date
    Apr 2007
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    NSW
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    775

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    Oh no L, I am so very sorry to hear your friend lost one of her twins

    I think the angel bear sounds like a lovely idea, maybe an angel figurine or something like that if you can't find anything that you like?? And another little gift for the surviving bub?

    As far as what to say goes, I just wanted to let you know that you have been a wonderful friend to me listening to my woes and putting up with my down in the dumps moods over the last couple of months, so I have every confidence that you'll know what to say to your friend. All you really have to do is listen and be there for her to talk to when she wants.

    Big hugs for your friend from me and little Meg.

    Susannah x

    PS. Its good to finally "bump into" you here!
    Last edited by nicjay; December 1st, 2007 at 09:24 AM. Reason: typo!

  6. #6
    LizzysMum Guest

    Default

    Thanks everyone. I bought 2 bears, one regular bear and one angel bear. I have also PM'd you AuntieM about the necklace

    Thanks Susannah

    It is all very sad as they thought everything was fine, she died 7 days after birth from an infection. The other twin has the same infection but it is not effecting her the same way. They are doing tests to see if there was an underlying reason fopr her reaction to it.

    Thanks again for your advice ladies,

  7. #7
    Claire Guest

    Default

    Leah - I'm really sorry to hear about your friend, it's so sad - she must be heartbroken.

    I agree with pp, acknowledging her loss is the best thing you can do. The teddy sounds lovely.

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