NO more miracles for me. Monday's fabulous result was just nature's cruel, cruel joke.
Scan today was awful. Sonographer would not tell me anything but found out myself by looking at pics he gave me to take back to emergency department.
Both babies still in there but the one with haematoma has totally collapsed sac and could not even see the baby. Other baby is still hanging on but measuring small and HR only 85 which I know from last time is a dismal sign at 6.5w. Uterus is full of blood so no wonder the poor things are being crushed.
Made me wait in emerg again until i kicked up a big fuss. Was in tears, by myself (DH home with DS) and just wanted to go home. Dr was nice today and was quite concerned that the amount of bleeding I had last night was not taken seriously. She spoke with my FS and both wanted me admitted for monitoring and poss D&C once confirmed that Bubba 2 had passed. I refused as just could not bear the thought of staying in hosp on my own. My FS ended up coming in within 10mins and was very supportive for which I am grateful. She was genuinely shocked that things have gone so bad from looking so good but had no good explanation. Will prob have another scan with her on Mon ( yet more torture for me!) and if all is defnitely lost then D&C so we can test babies again.
I am still in shock as I did kind of think we would get another miracle result today. My heart is just broken beyond repair. I am not sure how I am ever going to get through this only to put myself at danger once again with the next try. The 8/8/08 was THE unluckiest day ever for me.
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