I've never posted on a forum like this before. After reading a bit, I'm suspecting this is not a US site ... Australian, perhaps? I live in Austin, Texas.

My loss happened this past October. I had a hard time with it for weeks, and then felt like I had regained at least some semblance of normalcy in my life, although the pain never completely went away. The past couple of weeks have been especially difficult, at least partially because my due date (May 17) is approaching ... and partially because of friends' new babies. We've been TTC for a couple of months, and now I'm 10 days late. Three negative pregnancy tests. I wish I would just start so I can track my ovulation again and maybe this time ...

I have a son, almost 6, who is the light of my life. He wants a sibling. He and my husband keep me afloat. Hardest part of our loss in October was telling our son that his baby brother or sister was no longer in my tummy.

I don't talk about it. I told our son, but my husband shared the news with our close friends and family who knew about the pregnancy. He told everyone not to talk about it, so now no one does. I preferred that at first, maybe now not so much. He cracked a joke about D&C the other day. It stung. I can't joke about any of this. He's been wonderful and supportive, but acknowledges that the loss wasn't the same to him.

I want to tell my story, but this is already so long. Next post I will. Thanks for reading.

xo