Chody - I am so sad that you are hurting so much now. It sounds like you are trying to find some things to try and get you through -your thoughts "early loss". Even if that helps you get through, sweetie a loss is a loss and you are free to grieve as you feel you need to. For me, my first m/c wasn't anywhere near as devastating as my later losses. It was still heartbreaking and I grieved, but I bounced back a lot quicker and easier then. I know its not typical wisdom, but if you feel like you want to, ask for testing. Although you do have youth on your side! Go gently with yourself and in time you will find a way to incorporate your loss and your feelings into your life. It takes time.