Naomi, I am so sorry for the death of your daughter. I too lost my daughter at 18 weeks. In my case, I had an infection that wasn't properly diagnosed, which caused abruption of the placenta.
I looked at your website for her and it is beautiful. I love the pictures of the funeral. We had a funeral too, and I have never regretted it for a moment. Lots of people have said to me, "Wasn't it hard to plan your own child's funeral?" But as you know, it's the DEATH that's hard--the funeral is the least of it.
You will be so happy, as time goes by, that you have a beautiful place to go visit her and to know that she will always be there. I have done a lot of crying at the cemetery. I've also met other parents there, and there are other babies that I "check on" every time I go.
I read a very helpful book called When A Baby Dies. One of the best things it said was that you will never get over the loss of your baby. Somehow this reassured me. I knew that over time I would cry less, but the idea that I might forget the pain, and forget her, was horrible. That statement let me know that that would never happen.
Having said that, although her death will always leave a hole in your heart, over time it will become easier to bear. To get to that point, however, you have to grieve and that is the hard part. Whatever you feel now, is the right thing to feel. The tears will come, and probably at a time or place that is not the best--but just let them out. Auntie M's post above was great. As she said, it's your body's way of taking care of you.
During the few months right after DD's death, I found that it helped to do some mindless things. I watched comedies and had the radio on quite a bit. Every now and then something would make me laugh and when it did, I laughed my head off. Often that helped me cry too.
It hurts a lot to see other pregnant women. Do whatever you need to. If they are at work or at uni, I know it's impossible to avoid them, but otherwise if you feel like staying away....just do. Most of us do not feel like going to baby showers, talking about pregnancy, or even seeing the babies of friends or relatives.
I have to go now but I'll try to post again later. BIG HUGS.