Thank you so much for all your kind words or support and encouragement. It's comforting knowing things that I'm going through are normal and ok. No one really tells you how to live through this so some days I feel like I'm just walking around in a daze, often wondering what to do with myself.

We've had some great people from our church call and offer their support and let us know about the local support groups for grieving parents. The man who called actually had lost his daughter at 24 after 10 years of suffering through cancer. I can't imagine. It was so kind of him to call. I haven't been to any meetings yet, nor have I visited with any counseling but now I'm feeling it may be a good way to really begin getting out of this fog I've been in.

Lately I had been wondering if I had handled things correctly with my son, by not having him come to the hospital to see the baby. He asks often about his brother, and so I wondered if perhaps he had needed that closure by seeing him. But after discussing it with my mom who had come to be with me after labor, she assured me I had done the right thing. I thought perhaps in my state of horror and despair I had robbed him of something that he had needed, but she assured me that it had indeed been very traumatic for her to even see our Thomas as he was after birth and that it would have just been cruel to have put him through it. With time he'll come to accept his brother won't be coming home...it's just the times now when he asks when he'll be coming home that break my heart.

Peace to you all,
Celeste