It's been 12 days since I tested (nervously) at 12dpo and got a faint bfp.
It's been 11 days since I tested again, with a slightly darker bfp, which i wrapped up and gave to my husband as a present after he came home from work and tears stood out in his eyes.
For a week after that I walked around with a delicious secret, and every twinge of my breasts would remind me I'm pregnant, I'm pregnant, I'm pregnant! I was so thrilled that after the stressful process it was to conceive my first, that I had turned into one of those people who can get pregnant quickly and simply and easily. I wanted to tell the world, but we didn't yet.
It's been 4 days since I woke up and I knew that I did not feel in the least bit pregnant anymore. I had not had huge symptoms before that, but I knew it straight away when they stopped. I felt nothing, nada. I tested again, the line was still there. It was not as dark as I would have liked.
For three days I was worried, teary and didn't sleep.
It's been 2 days since I went to the dr and had a bloodtest. She said I would probably still be pregnant, but she would give me the referral for the ob later at another appointment if everything worked out. I felt better after that, I was doing something. And maybe, maybe, I was just being a big stress-pot and the numbers would come back high as the sky.
It's been 2 days since I started spotting.
It's been 1 day since my hcg results came back at 89 (5weeks1day), and then I knew. I already knew, but it was better not to have that little whispering hope spiking me up and down.
It's been an afternoon since I started bleeding properly. Just an af really, I can look at it like that, just af come 10 days late.
It's been at least an hour since I cried.
Oops, make that a second.
Mine is just a little little story. It didn't last very long. I was organised this time and have a scan and an ob appt written in blue in the calendar. I miss being pregnant.
I'm so sorry for your loss--this is a great place for support. Take your time to grieve and deal with your emotions, and rely on the wonderful people here.
Oh Honey I'm sitting here bawling, you took me back to a place I'll never forget.
My heart goes out to you and your DH, my only advice is to keep breathing, allow yourself to grieve it's so important.
Huge Hug, Missy
Just a very very tiny angel
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