Last chance?

[jinky_jo]

Hi there,
I had a miscarriage on the 4th of September at 17weeks 5days.A little boy.I can harldly believe it has happened again.I have had two previous miscarriages at 8 and 10 weeks. I am nearly 42 and I feel as if this pregnancy was my last chance. I am just so sad and I don't want to become bitter and twisted about it all.Does anyone have any ideas about how you go on?

[STARRYSKY]

I am so sorry for your loss jinky jo, finding bb was the best thing to happen to me after my miscarriage, I am sure you will find some help and support here.
sending you lots of big hugs.
xxx

[anney]

Hi Jinky,
I am sorry about your miscarriage. You must have felt "safe" getting to 17 weeks so it would have been a shock. I can really relate to your "last chance" feeling. We had our first child at 40 then TTC naturally for some years with no luck but tried IVF for the first time when I was 44 and amazingly got pg first go. We miscarried at 10 weeks and although I had had other miscarriages, this was by far the worst as I was grieving the loss of my fertility and ability to have another baby.
We are now doing a donor egg cycle as we want a brother or sister for DD. I am sorry, I don't have any advice on how you move on and I can only imagine how difficult it is. But on a brighter note, I do have a friend that had 2 miscarriage at age 42 and now has a gorgeous baby at 43. good luck and there is a thread on here with older women TTC so if you are up to keeping on trying you could join them.

[tempus moriendi]

Do you have other children? If you don't mind my prying. But yes, I'm 40 and I get where you're coming from. It is frustrating and rather scary. But unless you're having menopause symptoms (which I doubt because you got pregnant), it's not necessarily your last chance. I don't know if this helps, but when I start worrying about my age and the chance of having another baby, I think about celebrities like Marcia Cross and Mariska Hagarty who had babies in their 40's, too. And I think Madonna had one after 40. My prayers are with you right now.

[jinky_jo]

tempus moriendi,
I don't have any other kids.I'll just wait and see.

[Auntie M]

i am so sorry for your loss. and a double whammy to miscarry your baby and simultaneously your hope for a baby in the future. i wish i had any good answers for you, but all i have are tears. big hugs to you.

[klee]

jinki jo - i am so sorry for your loss, i thought you might be interested in coming over to the TTC after Recurrent Miscarriage/Stillbirth or Loss after the 1st trimester thread, there are a few ladies who have had mid 2nd trimester losses and also some ladies in their 40's dealing with their issues of fertility or infertility, they may be able to point you in the right direction for support or help you out even just a little.

[munchy]

Hi Jinky Jo

i am so sorry to hear of the loss of your precious little boy it must be so hearbreaking for you and words just cant express how hard it is 17 and half weeks is the time when you think you are safe so i think it must have been a great shock for you but i understand what you are going through i lost my little girl at 23 wks at it is so heartbreaking. i had to give birth to her and i spent 2 preicious hrs cuddling her and i just didnt want them to take her from me but i new i had to let go with somehting like this you never get over it and it is something that you will always think about i lost my little girl in july last yr and even now i have my down days where i cry and look through the pictures i have of her i tried to deal with it on my own for a while but in the end i went a bit crazy with anixioty and feeling down all the time so i seeked a councellor and she has helped me so much it took me a yr to do it but it has helped it also helped me to talk to people about it and make people no she was a person and that she will be missed i have started to do things to move forward such as putting a message in the hospital book for her and getting a glass plac made so i can have it in my living room i find i feel better when i do things to remember her by i hope i havent rambled on to much i hope that you get through this sad time and we are all hear to talk to this site is fantastic and i always say you are never to old so when the time is right you try again good luck with everything. did you give your baby boy a name hope you dont mind me asking.

Muncy xxx

[tempus moriendi]

I'm sure you're already under a doctor's care. Does she want you to go for any tests? Also there's lots of information out there on pregnancy after 40. I've seen books in the bookstores just about this issue (unfortunately no titles come to mind right now). There's also a lot of info on the internet, try google searching pregancy after 40 and you'll find tons of websites. Good luck and my fingers are crossed for you.

[Lissie]

Hi Jinky Jo,

I am very sorry for your loss. Its so hard i know - be kind to yourself and just cry if thats what you feel. I know where you are at as i am the same age Jo and its really hard - i too have no children and so desperately want to be a mum - i hear you. Please don't give up on your dream if you want it bad enough keep going - but then again its all up to you hun. I feel your pain and know how you feel - just give it some time sweetie - the universe is full of surprises and who knows you and i might just be in for one - am sending you a take care.

[bettyboop]

sorry to hear of your loss.