ZF, do you think after having your own children, the death of your brother affected the way you see things??? hmmm I hope that came out the right way. Tess
It came out fine hun don't worry.
For me being PG with DD1 was VERY hard, i found out i was PG on the 20yr anniversary of his death that i was PG, it was a nice surprise on an otherwise gloomy day but then at one stage they said i was due ON his birthday.. i was NOT impressed.
DD was earlier and my dates changed but her being the same age as him at the same time was hard for me, i was a paranoid freak in February when she was 4mths old...
That said there is a lot i knew about SIDS to help me get through that time with her, with DD2 it was a lot easier, it was a different time of year (by a couple of mths) and DD1 had been safe so i was less panicky.

My mum had some MC's after Marty andbefore she had her other children, TBH they did not really affect us even though i was about 10, i guess we had been through the loss before and we hadn't 'met' this baby IYKWIM.

As parents all we can do is explain to our children at an appropriate age that these things happen, it is not nice, it hurts but there is no way of knowing if it will or wont happen to you.
We cannot live our lives NOT doing things because it MIGHT, we can only go forward and think positive thoughts about all the good things that can happen.
Martin was bought into our lives for a reason, his smile could light teh darkest of rooms, he served his purpose and now he's gone.. it hurts but it happens for a reason.