Aww Sweety,
I am so, so sorry for your late loss.
The pain you must be feeling would be excruciating - hang in there
I can't say I've experienced what you have but I am only imagine what you're going through
I'm sure your great grandmother is taking great care of your darling Michael.
Take care of yourself hun
Love,
Allyce.
xx
Im so sorry for the loss of your precious Michael John.
I gave birth to my Madison at 19weeks and your right , she was perfect, everything where it should have been but just smaller. Some people may not know how to express themselves to you and sometimes it may come across as rude or insensitive but surrounding yourself with loving family and friends who understand your great loss will help . Dont let anyone tell you when its time to move on. Grieve for as long as you feel is nessessary.
At the moment things are still raw for you and you may not believe me but you will eventually see a brighter day. It just takes a little time.
Please take care
I looked back at my first post and it makes me sad that I was so angry that day. I had looked at this website and almost joined for about a week and had such a beautiful picture in my mind of the day that I delivered that I wanted to share it, but just couldn't put it into words the day that I posted. God is so amazing. I actually delivered everything at once and we got the rare opportunity to see exactly how protected and comfortable a baby lives while inside it's mommy. We were able to see Michael through the sac that he was sleeping in, and then the strength of the two layers of the sac when it was torn open by the nurse. That in itself was beyond what I could fathom. The sac was almost transparent and looked like you could touch it and it would break. To watch the nurse struggle to open it was more than I can describe. We also got to see him in the water that was protecting him, and his connection to my life with the umbilical cord that connected to the placenta. Seems morbid when it is typed out, but looking at it was so gorgeous and indescribable in any words that I can think of.
Right now I seem to be going through almost every emotion at any given time. I am angry, sad, hurt, jealous, but most of all I feel a little bit of happiness that I got the opportunity to see him and know that he was perfect and that God is protecting him now. I know that someday the emotions will fade and I will be able to move on, but right now... I can't imagine a day without thinking of him and hurting because I miss him so much already. I am not sure that I am ready to move on any time soon because I would feel bad for not missing him so much!
Thank you all for your replies, I can't even imagine this happening more than one time and the strength that it would take to endure that. I have been thinking about all of you as well and about how God is going to use our sadness and our stories to bless us and others (quite possibly others that we have never met). Your stories and your ability to understand what I am going through has already blessed me. Thank you.
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