I'm so sorry your little baby couldn't stay here with you. It broke my heart to read of all your dreams being taken away with this little one and you already picturing your little one with your girls. It's just not fair to rip someone's dream to pieces like that. Take time to heal hun and I wish you all the very best if you decide to try again. Big hugs sweetie
Thank you all so much for your kind words & support.
I still can't believe that his has happened. I left the house for the first time today for something not hospital related & I found it so hard. I guess it will get easier.
Looking at your signatures, I can't believe how many of you have had to endure this so many times. You are all so strong & amazing. I hope that I will be able to be as strong as you all.
I had my last(hopefully) appointment at the hospital today. I've decided to let nature do it's thing. I've bled so much that I can't imagine there being anything left. I can't believe how many of the medical staff are so non chalant about this. The gyno I saw didn't even acknowledge our loss. And to add insult to injury I've had an allergic reaction to the gel they used for the internal ultrasound & look like the friggin elephant man down below. Now I'm hoping that this stupid backache will just stop.
Through all this the one thing I've known is that I don't want to wait to try again. This I am certain of. We have wasted too much time waiting. Waiting for the right time. I want to try again, not to replace the little one we have lost -because I think that having another will only remind us more of them, each & every day - that will never be possible. There will always be an empty place at our table, an empty place in our hearts.
Thank you all again. I hope & pray for all of you that you will once again get to hold a precious baby in your arms. I'm so sorry for each & every one of you that have had to go through this too.
It is hard to leave the house at first, but you are right it will get easier with time. I had my D&C about two and a half weeks ago and its still really hard for me to go out in public because there are just too many reminders.
Im sorry the medical staff were so non chalant. I was treated the same way by the nursing staff and anethatist at hospital. They told me not to cry because this m/c was for the best. How could it possibly be for the best that my little one, who was very much loved, very much wanted died? What I lost cant be replaced but they didnt seem to care less. My Obs was the only medical person who truly showed me compassion for my losses. I am so grateful for that.
Trying again for me was filled with nervousness and fear. When I got my BFP with the next pg I cried for my little angels that didnt make it. Be prepared for some unexpected emotions when you do get your BFP. You may find you are in tears one minute and filled with sadness then absolutely estatic and happy the next.
I hope your body heals quickly so you can try again.
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