My baby Jeffrey

[fanfan]

I was fine and healthy during my pregnancy. Full energy and never had any morning sick. 1 week before i reached 25weeks..i started having headache and just had a rest at home. Next week.. i felt my stomach uncomfortable and stomach discomfort every 5 minutes ( i did not aware it was minor contraction). Next morning when we went to emergency.. i was told i was 8cm dilated and had to have my labor. I was shocked and never predict that i would suffer from placenta abruption.

Only half an hour.. baby Jeffrey was born on 19 May 2010 at 25weeks. He was fine and was in NICU Royal Northshore... after 3 days.. he started having problem in his lung. The doctor and midwives took care of Jeffrey. I stayed in hospital to accompany Jeffrey day and night praying and praying to God. I cried everytime i saw my baby was so sick and little. I prayed to God to give me a chance to let Jeffrey tried my breastmilk, tried my cooking and spend every Jeffrey's birthday. Unfortunately, Jeffrey heartbeat was decreasing. The midwives let me hold Jeffrey for the first time, we cried alot. Baby Jeffrey slept in his mum's cuddle for whole night. We spent our unforgetable family time together.

Jeffrey still opened his eyes.. i tried to talk to him that this was his mum and i love him so much. I hold him for the rest of the night even my arm was so shore.. but i know i might have no more chance to hold him again. His heart beat getting lower at morning and doctor told us that Jeffrey would go anytime. He was sleeping and i tried to stay calm in his last minute with his parents.

I kissed him and told him that he will always his number one Mummy's boy. I told him that his parents love him so much. Telling Jeffrey that in the heaven there will lots of angels and happy time. When the doctor checked his heartbeat again...then confirmed that Jeffrey has left us. I then started to cried loud. I was sad why God took my son and never answered my pray/wish.

I miss him everyday and ask myself why and why. Telling myself that if Jeffrey just come out a bit later may be things would be alright. This month (august 2010) suppose to be my full term and when everytime i go to mall and saw some toddler with mum having the shopping time together.. i thought about Jeffrey.

He is my first baby.. it is so so hard to move on especially in office alot of pregnant colleagues..and they are all fine till the labor. i told myself... why i am so unlucky....