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thread: My little angel *Story added*

  1. #145
    Registered User

    Mar 2007
    6,900

    Oh Tanya, I'm so sorry, I don't know what to say

    Last edited by Heaven; April 14th, 2009 at 05:34 PM.

  2. #146
    Registered User

    Mar 2007
    6,979

    Tanya,

    Very sorry to hear of your loss. That's so sad

  3. #147
    Registered User

    Nov 2007
    Off with the fairies.
    4,370

    I'm so so sorry. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.


    xox

  4. #148
    Registered User

    Jul 2006
    Logan
    2,991

    Tanya I am so sorry to hear this news. Massive hugs sweets
    Last edited by Trillian; April 14th, 2009 at 07:46 PM.

  5. #149
    Registered User

    Aug 2008
    shepparton
    13

    Tan,

    just checking to see how you are & to let you know our thoughts are with you in this time of sadness, but I know your will come through it as you are one hell of a strong women & you've only got to look at how beautiful your girls are to know your a fantastic mum

    bye bye little angel you will always be remembered & loved

    K,P,M & J
    Last edited by Trillian; April 14th, 2009 at 07:47 PM.

  6. #150
    Registered User
    Add ElleJay on Facebook Follow ElleJay On Twitter

    Jun 2007
    Western Australia
    6,587

    Oh Tanya, I've only just found out - Hun, I'm so sorry.. I honestly have a few tears running down my cheek If you need anything, feel free to message me on here
    Last edited by ElleJay; April 15th, 2009 at 02:09 AM.

  7. #151

    Mar 2004
    Sparta
    12,662

    Tanya I'm so sorry to hear your sad news.

  8. #152
    Registered User

    Dec 2004
    Sydney
    1,444

    I am so sorry to hear about the loss of your precious baby Nothing we can say can take the pain you are feeling away but I wanted to send you some huge

  9. #153
    Registered User

    Nov 2006
    brisbane
    3,975

    Tanya I am so sorry to hear of your very sad news Sending you lots of love and support. xx
    Last edited by Trillian; April 15th, 2009 at 10:25 AM.

  10. #154
    Registered User

    Sep 2008
    Melbourne
    1,612

    I am so sorry for your loss Tanya, your thought and prayers are in my heart for you and your family x

  11. #155
    Registered User

    Apr 2008
    Melbourne
    6,745

    I'm so sorry to hear this Tanya - please take care of yourself

  12. #156
    Registered User

    Oct 2006
    Adelaide, SA
    3,962

    Tanya, I don't know what to say, I'm in shock as I'm sure you are too.
    I am so very sorry for the loss of your baby, it's just not fair..
    xxx

  13. #157
    Registered User

    May 2004
    Shepparton
    4,871

    Unhappy The death and birth of Banjo

    I thought I would share this story... I keep thinking that this type of thing is not shared often enough, I had no idea what to expect and owe many thanks to one particular person who told me what to expect. I hope this will help anyone who may experience a loss in the 2nd tri and must go through labour to birth their tiny baby but not get to hold them the way you would a bigger bub.

    ok... here goes...

    On the Saturday the 11th we had friends over and I decided I would sit down and finish off a cord tie that I was knotting. I sat on the couch and I noticed some cramping like period pain. I almost said something to one of our visitors but decided against it. When I finished the cord tie I pinned it to the pin board and sat at the computer to check my email. While I was sitting there I noticed a leak in my knickers and thought it felt a bit weird and thought I had better just check to see all was ok, but one of our visitors need to use the loo so I waited, then Alecia needed to go so I waited again. When I finally go to the toilet I pulled down my pants and as soon as I saw what I had leaked I knew it wasn't good! I did a wee and when I wiped there was more fluid with a bit of blood in it.

    I went straight out to tell DP who was out in the shed, he looked horrified! The girls heard me say I was bleeding and they wanted to see... I didn't know what to say to them and just told them I couldn't show them. We packed up and went straight down to the ED. We got straight in and after waiting half an hour of so a Dr came to see us.

    He felt my belly and wanted to do an internal exam to see what the cervix was doing. After that he explained to me that there was a bit of fluid and he wanted to make sure what it was. So he went up to the maternity ward to get a amniotic fluid test. After getting what he needed from me the test quickly turned positive... I knew it would be. He went on to explain to me that the outlook was not good, and that if the baby was in fact still alive the chances of infection were very high.

    He went away and called the Ob team. Soon afterwards a resident Ob came and saw me and told me that his boss would be there soon and we would do an u/s to check exactly what was going on. He also went on to tell me the possible outcomes.

    When the head ob came she brought in the portable u/s machine and proceeded to tell me all the things that could be happening before feeling my tum and doing the scan. When she put the probe on my belly she immediately noted that my bladder was full then we saw our little bub sitting right at the bottom of my uterus not moving. I asked just to make sure, but I knew, "that's not a live baby, is it?" The poor little bub had been gone for a few weeks but my body just wanted to keep hold of him a little longer... and so did the rest of me

    We did a few measurements and he measured about 13 weeks... right when I stopped hearing him on my doppler. Not finding a heartbeat on the doppler always played on my mind, but I thought I had come too far passed that point for it to matter anymore. After the scan I bawled and bawled. They had to leave the room to let me be for a few minutes. After a couple of minutes I went to the toilet and the ob team came back in to tell me that they would like to send me for another u/s just to be sure and they wrote out a letter for my GP to let him know what was going on if I hadn't miscarried in a few days. I wanted to know if bub was a boy or a girl and what had happened so the head Ob talked to me about genetic testing. She checked the fluid around bub and said she could do an amnio to get some fluid which is more likely to grow cells from than the placenta after I miscarry.

    I went away that night devastated and decide that I did want to have the amnio, I didn't want to think back and wonder... I wanted to know that I had done everything I could to know. I was (and still am) paranoid that I may not be able to carry boy babies and I wanted a definite answer.

    So after no sleep all night and hours of contractions I call the hospital in the morning and tell them I wanted the amnio. The head Ob told me to come in at about 11am. We get there and they were ready for me. We check bub again and there is definitely no sign of life... I could see the contractions I had been having all night were having an affect on the sac and baby.

    The amnio was painful! The ob said that because my uterus is so small now and the fluid level had dropped it was going to be difficult... it was unsuccessful. I went away feeling a little sore but ok. I wasn't disappointed, and glad that I had tried. It was Easter Sunday and MIL had offered to take the kids. DP took them over and spent some time there with family, I wasn't going anywhere. When he got home I was still having contractions and was feeling uncomfortable. At about 7pm I decided I needed more support, DP was a bit panicked about what was going to happen and even grossed out at the thought of birthing such a small bub. I knew we both needed help so I called my sister and she came over about an hour later I felt fluid in my knickers again and decided I needed to go to the bathroom to check. I took my pants off and blood just dripped out. I hopped into the shower too scared to turn it on just in case I missed something in amongst the clots. Blood just started to pour our and huge clots. My cramps were getting bad and I was beginning to feel sick. My sister (being a nurse) started to worry asking if I thought I would like to go to the hospital and making sure my pulse was ok. Being in the shower was awful I wanted to sit but it hurt, I commented that I don't know how anyone could labour on their backsides. I stood wanting to wash away some of the blood so I turn the water on and the heat was making me sick. So I put on a towel and sat on a chair which hurt outside the shower and got DP to get me a cold water. I rubbed my lower tum and my sister decided she would quickly race up to the supermarket to get some nappies for me to sit on to catch the blood.

    A few minutes after she left I gave birth to baby, intact sac and placenta. It was such a relief. The bleeding slowed and we called my sister to tell her not to worry about the nappies and it was over. I didn't want to open the sac just in case they wanted to collect some fluid for cell growth .

    I had a wash and we went up the hospital to make sure there was nothing retained and for them to get a sample to get tested. The Obs were STILL there, they did the amnio on the intact sac then opened it to check baby they also took a few small pieces of placenta. The dr noted that it did look like a boy and that there was nothing obvious seen to make her conclude what may have caused him to stop living.

    After I was checked and had a shower I went and picked up my wee little babe. He was all slippery and oh so tiny and he did look like a boy. He was white and I could see his little bones through his fine skin. He look just like a tiny baby It was here that DP suggested the name Banjo. I Thought about it and over night I agreed that it was just perfect.

    We went to bunnigs the next day to get a pot and a plant to bury him in. DP made him a little coffin and I prepared him. I made little prints of his tiny hands and feet and wrapped him. I tied his wrap closed with the cord tie I had finished only hours before I discovered he as not ready to meet us. I carried him around for a couple of hrs while DP finished his little burial box. I didn't want him to leave me

    When DP finished he fitted perfectly into his little box and we buried him under his tree. It was so sad, looking at his tiny box in the pot and then covering it.
    Last edited by Tanya; April 16th, 2009 at 08:45 AM.

  14. #158

    Dec 2005
    not with crazy people
    8,023

    Tan

    No words I can say that will help......Im looking forward to saturday were we celebrate his birth..even if he was only here for a short time.....he's one little boy thats touched so many.

  15. #159
    Lucy in the sky with diamonds.

    Jan 2005
    Funky Town, Vic
    7,070

    Oh tiny boy.

    Tan I'm so sorry this happened. I can't think of anything to say right now but I'm crying for you, your family and little Banjo xoxoxoxo

  16. #160
    Registered User

    Feb 2006
    Newcastle, NSW
    4,219

    Oh Tanya... tears are flowing for you honey. Thank you for sharing the story of your beautiful & precious angel Banjo.
    Thinking of you. xxx
    Last edited by Trillian; April 16th, 2009 at 09:04 AM.

  17. #161
    Registered User
    Add STARRYSKY on Facebook Follow STARRYSKY On Twitter

    Aug 2007
    adelaide
    1,989

    dearest tanya,
    thankyou for sharing your experience with Banjo.
    My heart goes out to you and your family as I sit here and read your story, my tears are surely joining the many others that are being shed for your beautiful boy.
    RIP Banjo, my candle has been lit for you throughout.
    xx
    Last edited by Trillian; April 16th, 2009 at 09:05 AM.

  18. #162
    Registered User

    Jul 2006
    Logan
    2,991

    Oh Tanya I am sitting here in tears hon. My heart goes out to you and your DP. What a brave woman and a loving mum to your son. Your angel will appreciate your devotion. Thank you for sharing your story.
    Last edited by Trillian; April 16th, 2009 at 09:05 AM.

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