My Silent Miscarriage - Long

[possum magic]

Thanks Sara,

Hmmm, now i'm wondering if the same thing has happened to me: My bleeding stopped after a couple of days on medication but then started again and two days later i am still bleeding quite heavily. Going to see my OB tomorrow and get a scan. Will let you know what happens. Good on you for doing what was best for you each step of the way.

[dory]

Sara - pity you had a bad reaction to the ga.... just physical misery I suspect. Hope you're home again now and finding a way forward. You have made such a brave decision... make it work. Take care.

[possum magic]

Just wanted to let you know i saw the OB: miscarriage still incomplete but i'm nearly there so OB suggested i try one more dose of misoprostal. He's also given me antibiotics to cover me in case the length of the process makes me a bit vulnerable to it. So i'm crossing my fingers this is nearly over. WIshing you all the best again Sara for your future plans.

[Ilithyia]

Hi PM,

Sorry to hear your still going through this process. It sounds like it wont be much longer. Are you ok with the decision about the last dose?

I personally, decided d&c was the best option for me having already had 2 doses and still hadnt passed anything.

I hope its all over for you soon and you can start to deal with it all.

In hindsight, the days between the last miso dose and the d&c were hard. I was dealing with the miscarriage and also dealing with my the decision about whether to try again or not. But then within a week of having the d&c I felt clear headed and was able to make a decision and I felt emotionally and physically better. I think its hard to compltely move on when the process is taking that bit longer.

But you will get there. Sending loads of

Take care!
x

[Footsteps]

massive hugs to both you ladies. my thoughts are with you. stay strong and take care of yourselves xox

[possum magic]

Thanks Sara, yes, i was ok with one more dose of medication because the medication seemed to have worked reasonably well for me- my dr did an u/s in his rooms and could show me there was only a little bit left. I won't feel completely easy though until the bleeding stops and i have a scan (next wk) to show i'm all clear. I agree: until the m/c is complete it's even harder to deal with what has happened. I'm glad that you started to feel clearer once you'd had your d & c. I hope you will continue to heal in the weeks ahead. Good luck!

Rachel6188: thank you for your message.

[Ilithyia]

Thanks Sara, yes, i was ok with one more dose of medication because the medication seemed to have worked reasonably well for me- my dr did an u/s in his rooms and could show me there was only a little bit left. I won't feel completely easy though until the bleeding stops and i have a scan (next wk) to show i'm all clear. I agree: until the m/c is complete it's even harder to deal with what has happened. I'm glad that you started to feel clearer once you'd had your d & c. I hope you will continue to heal in the weeks ahead. Good luck!

Rachel6188: thank you for your message.

Hi PM,

Just thought I would check in and see how you were going?

Hope everything is ok with you...

[Ilithyia]

Just thought I would think out aloud in here....

So its been a few weeks now since I lost the baby and I am feeling pretty good emotionally and physically. But my heart is still aching.

I would have been 17 weeks today. I would have been feeling movement for sure!

I might be going crazy but I was laying down getting ready to go to sleep the other night and I was thinking about where I would have been in the pregnancy and thinking of movement when I started getting what felt like "kicks" in my tummy. I blurted out aloud...."my spirit baby has come to visit me". I know its just a normal spasm of the body but its a comforting thought.

I back on the rolloercoasting decision ride as to whether to try again or not. I know I won't but I can't help but think about it.

I am also wondering when my period will return. I have still been having some light yellowish loss but I only have to wear a liner. Yellow to me means that the healing process is nearly done. But I over the last couple of days I am left wondering if its only the physical healing process that is almost complete.

People ask me if I am ok and how I am going...And I usually reply with "i'm good" or "yeh I am ok, have my ups and downs". But yesterday I met with a group of my friends are a doula's and are pregnant or have newborns and are very much involved in the birthing community. At times I felt as though I would break down in their company but never let it spill over the edge.

One of them suggested we do a Closing the Bones ceremony with the Rebozo. I was quite shocked at first when she asked me if I wanted to do this as its usually a ritual that is performed on women postnatally. Not women who have had a miscarriage. But after some consideration I am now open to the idea. I am just worried that I will become a blubbering mess afterwards. So is this me still grieving but on the outside I am subconciously hiding the real emotion???

I am still in shock at how much this experience has effected me. Is this why it happened? So that I could experience what so many other women were experiecing? Will it make me a better birth worker? I think so. I think it will help me understand, sympathise and empathise so much more.

Anyhoo....I apologise if this is all over the place. I am really just thinking out aloud!