Oneday - you are grieving ..... all of those feelings you describe, are sadly, just so normal and a part of the grieving process.... the emptiness is probably the most frightening. If you need time off from work, don't be afraid to take it ( if you can) as it does help ( well it helped me)

In time, and I can't tell you how long, because for everyone its different, but in time you will feel more interested in your "usual daily activities" including work and in time you will find things to look forward to. If you don't start to, then seek professional help. Does the IVF clinic have a counsellor? Maybe you should contact them and set up an appointment? They should be experienced in both grief and the challenges of IVF

For me I was luckily enough to have 3 rambunctous cats, who kept me company during the early raw stages of my grief and kept me going - they demand to be fed - and in time I began to take a little joy from them and then one day I surprised myself when I heard myself laughing at some crazy antics they were up to. Of course, that then started a fresh wave of crying, because it reminded me I hadn't smiled or laughed for a while and also of the reasons why. But as you work through your grief, remember, it's ok to smile and laugh... it's a sign that you're starting to find your way through... and it doesn't dishonour or disrespect your baby.

Wow - that would have been so hard ... your birthday "celebration". Remember, it's ok to say no whilst you are healing. I am pretty amazed you did it. You are so strong.

BTW - thanks possum