Hi there , I have been reading the forums on loss for a while now and finally thought I would register. I am 33 and had my first baby at 18, a beautiful 14 yr old dd. I then waited 12 years to have my 20mth old ds. Dh and I thought its was about time to try for number 3 and March 2011 went off the pill. We fell pregnant in September 2011 and at about 6 weeks had a natural mc. The Dr told me that because it was natural and early it would be fine to try again straight away, we were both very distraught about the whole situation and it was made worse as we couldnt really talk about it as our dd didnt know about the preg. I fell pregnant again straight away about 2 weeks after the mc. We were confused,excited and very scared that it would happen again. Went to the Dr got hcg done 2 times and the number went down, started spotting for 2 days then bled I was about 6 weeks again.. we both couldnt believe that this would happen again.. once again we couldnt really talk about it openly as we have our 14 yr old dd.. So skip a few months to now I am due for a period on sat and once again are feeling very depressed as i do every month now. Its really very hard to talk about it to anyone and when I do I say "Im ok , it will happen one day" But really Im not, its so very frustrating it feels like every one around me is pregnant and I have to grin and be happy for them when I am screaming inside. I think I make things worse in that I go through so many pt every month ( I even did one yesterday.. neg) I have to stop buying them but I cant help it. I spose I just wanted to get off my chest that it really is so hard to get over a loss. Even if it was early it doesnt make it any less traumatic.. I think I have been trying to tell myself that it was less traumatic because they were so early.( and mother in law saying " Ive had so and so mc at and such and such weeks , youll get over it) Im rambling on , probably makes no sense. Thanks
Also I dont know all the abbreviations for the words that are used .. is there some where I can find them. ta
Feel free to vent here, there are many who understand. My mum had 3 mc, she has never 'gotten over it' she still remembers them, one was my twin & sometimes we talk about it. She is more at peace now, but I'm sure she grieved deeply when the loss was still fresh.
Allow yourself time, grieve as you feel you need.
(btw I don't think that dr should have said for you to try again so soon, most I know are asked to wait at least a month so the body has time to heal)
hugs.... any loss is traumatic.....and trying again requires more courage and strength than most will know. come and vent anytime. people who dismiss your feelings in fact don"t understand....hoping for a sticky bfp for you soon. fly free little angels.
I feel the same as you, also had two miscarriages, everyone around me is pregnant and I keep buying tests every month.
I don't know about you, but I also get very stressed and nervous when my period is due. I am also constantly looking out for signs that I am pregnant. I now I need to chill out, but so hard.....
At this stage I can't tell you that things will get better, because I am still trying to believe that for myself, but more wanted to tell you that you are not alone.
Fingers crossed this is the month for both of us x
Very sorry for your losses. Its not something anyone should go through but so many of us do. Its great that we can find solace in others so please know that there are many of us here who know what your going through and will hold no judement. Here you can share as much or as little of your experiences as you like.
Have you had any counselling regarding your miscarriages?
I think its important to seek support after a miscarriage no matter what gestation you are.
Also, have you had any pre-conception testing done? There may be a reason for your re-current miscarriage. ie Low progesterone levels etc.
need to vent !!
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we really do understand how you are feeling. May your angels be close to your heart always.
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