I feel I need o write my story down, just to get it out and stop being superwoman and start grieving, I just don't know ehat to do. My story..
My scan at 13 weeks showed no heartbeat and the baby had died at 8 weeks, a missed miscarriage.
The day before the ulrasound, I got a call from my doctor saying I had a werid antibody result in my bloodtests & I needed to be re-tested as it was an anti E which meant the baby possibly had a different blood type and I was tryig to fight it. After the ultrasound, result, all I could think was it was my fault, my body had done this.
My curette was a difficult day, 4 days later. Got to hospital at 10am, sat there till 4pm. Checked every hour what was going on, and all we heard was "delays"or "emerganicies". Got to the ward at 4pm to hear, where have you been? We've been waiting since 10am for you. Anyway, theatre was at that stage at 6.30 with all the delays. They had to insert to tablets so you dilate for the surgery. Surgery got delayed till 9pm. At 8pm I started craping and bleeding, heavily. Theatre got delayed till 11pm. Bleeding and cramping got worse. Theatre got delaed till 1am. Now full on contractions. Nurses got fed up and took me down an 12.45pm. Next day was so dizzy and weak from blood loss, blood tests taken to check for blood transfusion, came back "borderline" went home at 2pm. Day surgery was supposed to be 10am, home by 5pm!
The pathology results were so not what we expected. We expected the antibody to be the cause, but no. It was a very rare partial molar pregnancy. (My dr has only ever seen 3). A molar pregnancy is where the diving cells misshap, and the placenta forms like a tumor and grows like a cancer. But it doesn't end there. The curette I had needs to be followed up with blood tests to enure all was removed (see if I have any HGC hormone levels ). If I do have any levels, it means the placenta is growing back and another curette is required. It can also spread to other bodyparts like cancer, but is 100% treatable. and is treated with chemo. Even though it is very rare, there is a 1 in 100 chance of it happening to future pregnancies. Cause is two sperm fertalizing one egg.
The anti E found in my blood was originally thought to be the cause to to baby having different blood type, was only a small amount, so it still can affect future pregnancies, but worst case should be a jaundice baby with the levels I have.
I just had my blood test to check the hormone levels are hopefully zero. If they are low, it can men they are still dropping from the pregnancy an need to be repeated to ensure they are coming doen and not going up, as going up would mean the placenta is regrowing. Ibawled my eyes out the whole time.
I came home to my 2 boys who are the light of my life, and people say I am lucky to have them, which yes I am so lucky, but it's also sad, because I know what I am missing out on.
Oh Izzy! I don't know what to say but lots and lots of , hun.
I can only imagine what you must be going through right now. you've done the best thing by sharing it on BB. There are so many lovely women here who can offer their kind advise and a shoulder to cry on. I am so sorry this has happened to you Take care of yourself and if you need to chat, just yell.
I'm so sorry for your loss, and sorry that the medical side of things isn't over yet. It must be so difficult that things are so up in the air.
I really hope you find the support you need here. My thoughts are with you.
hey hun,
i am another rare one who has had a molar preg. My story is very similar. Missed miscarriage at 12 weeks. I had my d&c last november (tho my experience was alot better than yours - mine all went very smoothly apart from the infection i got after, but that was easily cured with some antibiotics.) Pathology results came back partial molar.
Hun, dont expect your hcg level to be zero. It wont be. Mine took 8 weeks to get to zero, and that is reasonably quick for a molar. You'll probably have weekly tests until it gets down. Dont be concerned. as long as every test shows a drop in numbers thats all they look for.
I dont know how much your doc has told you and i dont want to scare you, but they do suggest (very strongly) a waiting period before ttc again. Its normally 6 months for a partial mole. I waited 10 months since my levels got to zero and i have just found out i am 4 weeks pregnant. I am very scared about it being another molar, but trying to be positive.
You will get thru this hun. And u already have two healthy boys so u will go on to have another baby. Izzy- please pm me if you want to talk more. I know some good online support groups that really do help.
Thank for you support ladies, it's good to kow you are out there.
Lani. Thankyou. My dr did say wait about ttc, but this baby was unplanned (but much wanted), so we plan to wait a year or so anyway. So it took 8 weeks to get to zero? hat were you results at the first test?
Congrats on your pregnancy, I can understand you being scared, but my dr did say next time they can do constant early scans and determine very early if it's a partial molar or not. I hope this is an option for you and your mind can be put at ease early on, as I believe it's rare to happen again - even though it's rare in the first instance! I hav't seen any online support groups??
Welcome to BB hun. This is an amazing place and you will find lots of love, support and advice here. I am so very sorry for your loss. What a horrible ordeal you have endured and can't believe the mix up at the hospital... how infuriating! I hope your body treats you well and you hit zero very quickly.
Sending you lots of strength during this time of healing and I pray you will have a successful pregnancy next time around with a beautiful little bub to take home.
izzy - i had my first blood draw about um 3 weeks after my d&c and it was 230. The next week it was 12. I was stoked it was coming down so quick, but then it took like 5 weeks to get from 12 to under 5. From what the girls in the support group have said, its pretty common for the hcg level to slow right down once it gets low. But, also from what ive gathered from the support group, everyones levels varied greatly! As long as they steadily come down, thats all that matters.
Im going to pm you a link to a website and the support group. I think you'll find them helpful. I, for one, didnt get much information out of the hospital so ive done alot of research.
Im always around if you ever want to talk or vent.
Lani81 ; Thankyou so much. I actually found that site last night! There really is not much info around. My levels were 760 on Wed & 590 yesterday. Very slowly the doctor said, that's 2 weeks since d&c. Next test tuesday. were you sent for ultrasounds to confirm? Thankyou for your support, really appreciate it. Hope everything is going positivley for you. PS i had no idea how to send a private meaage, so thanks again for the info.
no worries Izzy. Its actually good to be able to offer someone else some support. i know how lonely i felt when i had noone to talk to about it.
Your hcg levels sound good hun. Their really promising.If they keep coming down like that you'll be right as rain. Alot of girls are still up in the 100,000's 2 weeks after d&c. Let me know how you go on tuesday. No i didnt have any ultrasounds. My doctor at the hospital was very casual about it all (very annoying when your totally freaking out), but he basically said i didnt need further tests as long as my hcg levels came down steadily. He was only going to do more tests if they started going up again.
I did take myself back to my gp when my waiting period was up and ask for an ultrasound just to make sure everything was normal. which it was.
you can pm people by clicking on their name on one of their posts. it brings up a drop down menu where u can click to pm.
Thanks Lani.
I think the dr's are so casual about it because they know so little about it! My dr has only ever seen 3 others. Being in the 500's makes me feel positive then, if that's the case with others, thanks forthe info. 'll have to do a bit more reading, I was startin to go into bain overload...
I have now worked out that I was about 16 weeks, as my dating scan showed 6 weeks, when I knew I was 9. I was worried from then as it meant I'd taken the pregnancy test(s) before I was pg. Trust your intincts hey! What I don't understand is how the baby can stay in there so long without misscarrying naturally.
The utrasound after the wating perod sounds like a good idea! I'l keep that in mind.
I hope everything with you is going good, have they offered you an early ultrasound?
Hi Ladies, I've just come home from hospital, I have an overnight stay every fortnight while having chemo, I tell myself it's a stay at a 5star hotel! I've had good news, (an ending to my never ending story) my last blood count was 3!!!Yay!! This means I only have to have one more cycle of chemo & then just follow up blood test for a fair while!! The chemo will be over & done with by xmas!! What a wonderful gift!
Izzy, it's such a wonderful feeling when you get the new results each week of the HGC levels. If you do have to start the chemo (if the same as me) to start with was a injection in the rear of Methotrixate every 2nd day for a week & then a week off, I didn't have any side effects only tiredness, but I've been working still (part time). They started me on that treatment when my HGC counts leveled out at about 1080. Then a month ago my HGC stopped again at 80 so the oncologist started the new treatment (which is 8 different drugs), which has worked, the side effects can be more severe but so far I'm just a little more tired & my hair is just starting to fall out, (not much just thining), I've been needing an excuse for a new short funky hair style any way. The oncologist & fertilisation Dr have me on the pill (I still have my overies) to minimise the effect of chemo on my eggs, & say that chemo shouldn't do damage to them. I hope this helps & not scares you of what might come. It can be a real inspiration going into the oncology ward & seeing the people that cancer has effected, most of them look on the bright side of life & really put in prespective what I've been through & how lucky I am.
Lani, good luck with your scan. It was a little hard to start with listening to people talk about their children & expectancy, while I have to wait awhile now for that part of my life to come about I'm starting to feel clucky again & just can't wait to start a family of my own. I wish you all the best!!
I'll try looking up the link your telling me about, I'll let you know how I go.
izzy- u and i were so opposite with our molars lol. I didnt have the enlarged uterus. i never showed at all. But oh lord, the sickness was unbearable. I felt like i was constantly on the verge of vomiting. Even if i had only thrown up a minute before. There was never any relief. i had no energy - couldnt even walk up a flight of stairs without help. My mum would come over every weekend and do all my housework cos i couldnt get out of bed. For 6 weeks, i only left my bed to go to work, and even then i had so many sick days that i had to tell everyone i was pregnant cos i was being so unreliable. it was honestly the worst experience of my life. Tho i would have done it all again if it had meant a healthy bubba.
im just having a scan at the local radiology practice as ill be going through the public system. Their just looking for a heartbeat and bubs to be the right size for dates. If anything is off, ill go straight back to the specialist at the hospital that took care of my molar.
Emjee congrats on your results! i was so happy to read that. I really struggled with the whole not being able to try again straight away, and seeing other people that were pregnant. Babies didnt bother me too much, thankfully, cos my best friend had a baby 4 weeks after my d&c. I thought id struggle with him, but i didnt. i adore him even more if thats even possible. i was pretty miserable until after my due date in may. It got easier after that. Felt like there was a light at the end of the tunnel.
Emjee, that's such great news!!! It's such a terrible ordeal to go throuogh, so I am so glad you'll have finished hemo in time for christmas, and sporting a funky new hair do, you'll feel like a million dollars! Yo havn't scared me with your experience, I have read all I can & have friends who ae nurses, so I prepared I think. Hoping for a big drop with Monday's bloods! 2 weeks after my d&c my bes friend told me she was pregnant, I was upset at first, and thought how do I deal with this, but somehow I have. I struggled with pregnant bellies in the street for a week or so, then thought, I just wonder what that lady has been through to get here, maybe she was in my shoes not long ago, so that's how I am dealing with hat, and make myself smile when I see a belly.
Lani, Wow, we were total opposites hey! What a bizzare thing it is. I went through the public system too, but all my scans have always been at an obstetric & gynaecological ultrasound, and the cost is only around $30 more from memory, if you are not 100% happy at you clinic, please look into it.
Now I have an odd question.. Do you get your period like normal, or not until your levels reach zero? I am hitting the 4 week mark since d&c & just wondered?
izzy - i think i got my period back about 4 or 5 weeks after d&c. i dont think my levels were zero yet. they were low, but not zero. i went back on the pill for 3 months, then went off it cos i didnt want any trace of it in my system when we started trying again. my period has been pretty normal ever since - varies between 28-35 days but thats pretty normal for me.
my mum is a radiographer and works at a private practice that also does ultrasounds. I get em for free cos im immediate family of an employee. so they treat me pretty good there lol. i am having my first scan done somewhere else tho, cos i dont want to tell my mum yet.
Thanks Lani. I just had no idea what to expect. I've bee spotting n & off since d&c anyway.
That's great your mum is a radiographer. After you tell her, that will be great to go there!
My levels were 329 last week, 197 this week WOOHOO.....
Hello girls!
I have been reading different posts from time to time about PMP but found this one to be the most connected to my story.
Here is how it went (in brief) and it hurts to go back and recall this time.
June 08-Had my 29th and was so happy with my life, my marriage everything was ideal
June 08-Discovered I was pregnant (planned) and conceived on 1st go...
Soon after I had some minor spotting which the gyno and midwives said was a threatened M/c but after I had my 7 wk ultrasound and there was a healthy heartbeat I was told not to worry and everything was fine.
July 08 - My father in law gets diagnosed with cancer, our whole life turns upside down as it is a sever one. In the mean time I am worried like crazy about my spotting, feel really uncomfortable and have dreams of losing the baby. Deep inside me I know this will not go to term and that something is wrong although we had a good heartbeat.
Numerous calls to gyno and I am still told everything is fine.
September 1st 08-12 wk Ultrasound and I am feeling very nervous.
I am in the uoltrasound room and the baby does not look like a baby. I am being told it's heart stopped at 8wks and I had a missed m/c. I go in for a D&C the same day.
September 23rd (7wks post D&C) I visit my gyno for follow-up and she said that we need to make sure HCG is dropping. I ask what will happen if it drops slowly etc and she said casually "Chemo"! I freak out and ask questions...she mentions the word molar and that my placenta was examined and they found a partial molar.... My husband and I leave her office quite frightened... my father in law was across the street at the hospital having chemo, so you understand how we felt. I go straight away for a bloot test... 7wks post D&C it comes back at 10.
I have been having tests every two weeks and last fortnight I was down to 1.
It has been going down slowly but surely...
The day I discovered I had 10, with the shock of finding out about the partial molar, I stressed so much waiting for the results that I sweated all day, my legs were shaking and I got severe stomache cramps. Shortly after I think I got irritable bowel syndrome from the stress I went through.
Since then, we lost my father in law to cancer, a month a go... and two days ago my husbands grandma also passed away.
While I was pregnant I felt alone and confused... my husband had a lot on his shoulders and had to take care of his dad who was dying, so I felt more and more alone... I think he took it for granted that I was experiencing fears and complications with my pregnancy and when we reached wk 12 and D&C he broke down....
Our life changed from June onwards. Everything was so beautiful and good for us, then we had the partial molar, lost his dad and grandma and I am still waiting to get that ZERO test result. I am close, but we have endured massive amounts of stress in the mean time.
I have had two periods spot on on 28 day both times - these were real periods, not bleeding after D&C. This month (December) I was due on the 13th and I am now 3 days late.... should I be worried? My HCG was down to 1... is this hormonal? It could be stress related as my naturopath said I have had adrenal and exhaustion from the stress and events of this year....
Does it mean I did not ovulate this month and may miss a period?
I have had more questions answered by reading forums and going on google than speaking with gyno.
I dealth with the loss of the baby fairly fast, within 2 weeks my spirits were up as opposed to other women who mourn, I just dealt with it. I think I had to because we were losing my father in law and I had to keep it together... but lately I am finding that I am thinking about the time I was pregnant a few months ago and everything is going through my head again.
I have some left over anger inside me because my husband did not give me the attention a pregnant woman needed. He was 100% on his dad and I was second priority. He has apologised and I understand how he felt at the time, but I still have some left over resentment inside me.
Anyway, that is my story... one very difficult year for us....
This was going to be our first child... now we are left with a bunch of emotional mess and my husband is grieving the loss of his dad and grandma and is very silent, not him self... I doubt wether we will try for a baby for at least another 6 months. We need to get our life back on track again.
I have another blood test this week, hope it's zero....wondering where my period is...but will wait.
I pray to God that 2009 gives us double the hapinness we missed out on this year... because if you think about it, we experienced 3 losses! Not easy!!!
So when you think back on your situation, think of what we went through....
I saw death with my own eyes and was there when my hudbands family members passed away... very traumatic for someone who experienced their own loss let alone the scare and stress of a partial molar pregnancy!
Blessigns to all and keep positive!!!
P.S My nickname symbolises my vision for 2009. Me-with-baby. If I can see it maybe I can conceive it!!!!
Partial Molar Pregnancy
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