thread: Sad

**finsmum** · August 22nd, 2013, 12:05 PM

I'm sad to be here, sad to read all the stories of loss. I am in the middle of miscarrying a 10 week pregnancy. The scan showed that the sac had developed to 7.5 weeks but the baby died earlier.
Like Optimist I am taken aback by how full on it is, more like birth than a period. I had a loss at 6 weeks a couple of years ago which was more like a heavy af (sorry if TMI!), but this is big bits of placenta, quite strong pain, a fair bit of blood and feeling like I'm going to pass out.
I am 42 and am blessed with 2 perfect kids. I very much wanted to give them another sibling as they have no cousins etc and extremely little contact with any extended family. I worry that they will be alone in the world when my partner and I are gone. But I can't do this again. I had a 'false pregnancy', all the symptoms but no baby, while returning to fertility from breastfeeding earlier this year, so really can't deal with any more. The universe has spoken!
Thanks to Optimist for describing your loss at 10 weeks - it is comforting to hear that the physical side of it is normal!
We will have a ceremony with the remains to say goodbye, and plant a tree over them. Our backyard is turning into an arboreal memorial, there are two trees out there for a friend who passed away too.