I knew this would happen....

**chody47** · March 16th, 2010, 08:54 AM

I am (or should I say was) 6 weeks pregnant but have woken up to a lot of bleeding today. I had a spare test lying around so took it and got a BFN.... I'm going to the doc in a couple of hours to confirm but I don't see how they can tell me anything I haven't already worked out for myself...

I felt uneasy as soon as I got my blood test results. I got them last Thurs and they were only 42. I thought that perhaps I had O'd later than usual as I wasn't really sure of my cycle length(got preg in my first cycle off the pill in 10 years). I wanted to go and get more bloods done but everyone kept telling me it would be fine. I had a gut feeling things weren't fine and now I know for sure.

I'm just trying to tell myself that, for me, I prefer that it has happened early on. I don't expect that would be the case for everyone (so please don't get angry at me for saying that) but that is just how I feel right now.

DH is coming home from work shortly and is going to try to keep me occupied today to keep my mind off things. He has been wonderful. He rang my boss for me and told his parents. I'm not sure how I'm going to tell my parents....

**KitFaerie** · March 16th, 2010, 09:22 AM

Oh sweetie I'm so sorry, it's a horrible feeling. Your DH sounds wonderful, look after yourself today and in the coming weeks xo

**Jahzara** · March 16th, 2010, 09:30 AM

I am really sorry

Take care
xoxo

**indie24** · March 16th, 2010, 10:37 AM

I am sorry to hear that Chody. Your husband sounds wonderful. Take care of yourself.

***Beema*** · March 16th, 2010, 10:49 AM

I am so so sorry Chody

Sending you my deepest sympathies at this time

**krisp** · March 16th, 2010, 11:57 AM

Chody, I'm so sorry for your loss, it's just so terribly heartbreaking. Be good to yourself, take the time you need to cry and grieve for your little angel. You sound like you have a wonderful Husband beside you, wrap yourself up in his arms tonight and comfort each other.

**ElleJay** · March 16th, 2010, 12:02 PM

I'm so very sorry for your loss

**chody47** · March 16th, 2010, 07:58 PM

Thank you all for your kind words. Even though I don't know you all it's nice to know that someone is thinking of me, even if only for a moment.

I had a blood test today and will have two more over the next few days. These will just confirm what I know is true.

**Jaycee** · March 17th, 2010, 10:38 AM

I'm so sorry
xxx

**dory** · March 19th, 2010, 10:49 AM

Chody - I am so sad that you are hurting so much now. It sounds like you are trying to find some things to try and get you through -your thoughts "early loss". Even if that helps you get through, sweetie a loss is a loss and you are free to grieve as you feel you need to. For me, my first m/c wasn't anywhere near as devastating as my later losses. It was still heartbreaking and I grieved, but I bounced back a lot quicker and easier then. I know its not typical wisdom, but if you feel like you want to, ask for testing. Although you do have youth on your side! Go gently with yourself and in time you will find a way to incorporate your loss and your feelings into your life. It takes time.

***star*** · March 19th, 2010, 10:53 AM

Chody - big hugs to you darl.

It must be so hard to have gone from the highs of your BFP to this. Take it easy.

**dory** · March 29th, 2010, 05:47 PM

Chody - how are you doing today?

**chody47** · April 1st, 2010, 09:23 PM

Hi Dory and thanks for asking. I am doing ok at the moment. DH and I have started trying again and I think I am around O time at the moment (if I haven't O'd already it should be fairly soon). To be honest, I try not to think about the miscarriage too much. I guess that when I do think about it I try to see the 'positives' in it, that being that I know I can get pregnant. I personally know quite a few people who are having so much trouble with that part that I guess I just count myself lucky that we were able to fall pregnant so easily this first time. I just hope the second time is as easy.