it's me, back here again..... I had a loss in December at 9weeks, I found the experience life changing and felt like I learned alot about myself and other women. I was pregnant again after one cycle, it was different, the symptoms really strong, the MS oh my word!! My body has changed, I have so many veins, my brea$sts are blossoming by body blossoming, yet here I am at 13 weeks, in shock, trying to find the strength to get through another loss. I started very very light spotting yesterday, and went for an US the image is still so raw in my head.

My DH is away, I am here with my children pulled between hollow and mother, and waiting waiting waiting... will it be today that is passes, will it be in two weeks time... staying present to each feeling as it rises, feeling hope and strength and then hitting the floor again... I guess I will look back here one day and see what I learned the second time round, but right now in this very moment I wait......