my close friend since year 1 in school and i were pregnant at the same time due a few weeks apart. she lost her bubby at 36 weeks, 5 days from severe placenta abruption.this happened the week before my baby was born and i found out when my bubby was a week old through the grape vine. i was absolutely shattered, its so hard to be happy for your own baby when you know your friend can't have that same joy. you wonder why you were so lucky to have yours. as christmas is coming up it breaks my heart to know that she won't have this christmas with her baby (and its around the time she conceived too) and it constantly plays on my mind. i think the most healing thing for us to share together was she showed me photos of her baby after he was stillborn. we spent about an hour looking at 5 photos or so. we also spent a lot of time talking about the hard questions, sex after loss, the anniversaries (conceiving, one month after death, etc) and so on. i know that my existence and my baby too is a constant reminder of her precious son that she lost. i've had to accept that sometimes my friend wants to see me and my baby, sometimes she just wants to see me and sometimes i have to go weeks without hearing from her or that my emails or phone calls go unanswered.
as my bubby is a constant reminder of the bonnie babes ad that 1 in 4 pregnancies end in miscarriage or stillbirth i pray for the women that lose their babies all the time, may you find comfort and peace xx wishing you all the best xx
I"m so sorry you had to go through that. Sending cyberhug.
please, please please don't beat yourself up because you didn't have the "right" emotions when you were pregnant. There are no right or wrong emotions, only actions.
I would suggest you just be honest with your friend and tell her you want to be there for her, but you're also dealing with your own grief. It might be awkward sometimes in the next months, but awkward is okay, better than not being honest.
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