I felt the need to write my first post tonight. This time last week the phone was ringing off the hook as we had decided at 11 weeks it was safe to start letting people know we were having a baby.
At 3 o'clock on saturday after a quick toilet stop before heading out I knew it was time to stop celebrating . Even though I was only spotting very lightly I knew in my heart it was all over. I went to the local doctors who reassured me it was all ok and just to go home and rest until I saw my doctor on monday.. The phone was ringing off the hook again, this time with people letting me know it was going to be ok and light spotting is nothing. I didnt have anything again until sunday night so I started to maybe think it could be ok after all.
Monday morning I started shaking and deep down in my heart I knew. I saw my doctor who also told me it was very slim for it to happen but lets have an US scan just in case. Sure enough there was no heartbeat and the baby had died a few weeks back.
I still cant believe it , even though I knew..I cant explain it but as soon as I fell , the first thing that crossed my mind was miscarriage. I have had two other babies and I never felt this before. Now looking back a few weeks ago I remember shaking so much one day and not being able to get the thought out of my head, I even felt like consulting a pyscic (something I have never considered before) just to put my mind at ease..I think this must have been when it happened ... but I was still so shocked that this has happened to me.
So here I am a week later and the feelings are just overwhelming...I just want to be pregnant again but I am so scared.
I had a D & C on monday and I only bleed for two days..is this normal? Does anyone know how long it takes to ovulate again?
Thanks for giving me the oportunity to express my feelings , already people are telling me to get over it and at least I already have two healthy children..but I just cant, I wanted this baby more than anything .
Big hugs RR. I am so sorry for your loss. Of course you will be grieving for your lost baby. That is so normal. Don't worry about people who don't understand that. Just do what you need to do, to give yourself time to grieve, accept and start to come out the other side.
I am no expert here, so I won't try to give you detailed answers to your questions. But I know of many people who have successfully fallen pg within a cycle or two of m/c. I guess it is an individual thing as to when you will be emotionally ready to TTC again. I don't know when that will be for you, but I am sure you will know when the time comes.
Dear Ruby, I am sorry for your loss. No one should be telling you to get over it. You are a mother who lost a child, you have the right to feel your loss and crave your baby no matter how far along you were or how many children you already have.
I never had a D&C but it took me about 6wks to get my periods back after my first miscarriage and 10wks after my son was stillborn.
I wish you the very best in your journey to TTC again.
Oh darlin,
I so get that. I found out on 28th April that I had lost my bub only a few days before. Exactly as you described. Little bit of spotting and nothing else - but i knew something was wrong. We were 11 weeks too. I only bled for 2 days also.
I don't know if I ovulated that first cycle, but we TTCed anyway. I got AF bang on 28 days later.
Just block out those unhelpful people. It isn't their body, thier baby. Hang about in here for a while. Most of us understand through unwanted experience, but it's safe here and supportive.
Cry as long and hard as you need. Hug your babies but remember the one in heaven.
I'm so sorry to hear of your loss hun. Take time to grieve your lost baby and always remember that your little angel will always be watching over you & your family. About period, it really varies amongst women. I got my period 9 weeks after I gave birth to my son (stillborn @ 22 wks). Take care sweetie xx
Oh, I'm so sorry. I do know the feeling well. I have had several 'early term' mc's and they are just horrible. Big hugs and strong thoughts coming your way. Cry if you need to, scream if you need to, hold you partner if you need to. Anything you need to do to get through this time is ok.
Thanks for all your support..I am not looking forward to 3 o'clock today , but I think once that has passed, I will be able to start looking forward to the next phase.
Actually my husband told me something yesterday which sort of helped. Apparently he just found out his mum had a mc before him , so he said it was lucky for us that she did..and the next baby will be thankful for its life too..it made sense and gave me a feeling of hope for the night!
I am so so sorry for your loss. I was exactly in the same boat as you a couple of months ago - when I hit 12 weeks, I was so happy and excited and that night I had some spotting.
Unfortunately my little angel heart stopped beating a couple of weeks before.
RubyRed, I am sorry for the loss of your precious little one. I wish I had some comforting words or some wisdom or something to help.
You are not alone. I felt like something was going to go wrong right up until the doctor told me that I was in labour waaay too early for my son to survive.
Dear Ruby Red,
I am very sorry to hear of your loss, there is nothing worse than losing a child, even if unborn. With time things will get easier, but you should always remember your little angel.
I had a similar experience with my first miscarriage, began spotting at 11 weeks, had an ultrasound which revealed my baby had died at 9 weeks. Had a D&C, only bled for 2 days, then got my first period 32 days later (Usually get them every 31 days). I had known since the beginning of my pregnancy there was something wrong. And I'd had horrible nightmares around the time my baby would have died.
With my 3rd miscarriage, also similar, although no bleeding at all. A routine scan at 12 weeks revealed my baby had died at 9 weeks again. At the 9 week stage I had a horrible feeling my baby had died, but put it down to feeling afraid after what had happened before. Had another D&C, this time bled for 2 weeks! Doc put me on antibiotics in case of infection and they were monitering me closely. Then sure enough 2 weeks after the bleeding stopped I got my period back! (32 days after D&C).
Best of luck in the future, don't be afraid to ask questions, I bet none of us ever thought we'd be in this horrible situation.
Little One Thank you for your reponse, it's amazing how you can just "know" but your brain tries to override your feelings..I kept on feeling that something was wrong but thought if I just tried to believe it would be ok it all would be.
Now I am just tryingto get over next week . I had my first dr appointment and first scan booked for this week and if I can just get through that week , then I will be ready for the next phase.
I actually started bleeding again 4 days ago , so I am not sure what that is all about. Now I am starting to get scared about the thought of having another baby, although it has been really inspiring reading others stories in this forum, there are so many brave and strong women out there...I just want to say thanks again to everybody for all the support you show to me and each other!
just pray and ask God to give yu knowledge on this matter, to enlighten you and give hope that every thing was for its purpose and reason, Who know's that after what had happened God will you more surprises. Regarding to your question, you can get pregnant as soon as you have your menstruation back again, but to give you an advice try not to get pregnant in maybe 1 year plus, to have your next baby have his/her healthy room in your womb. anyways hope I helped you. Godbless.
I'm sorry Ruby Red - nothing I can say will make it better but you know there are lots of people out there who care (some you know and others you don't!). I M/C at 8 weeks and had a D & C. I didn't get my period and fell pregnant straight away - for me it was the best thing. I agree with your husband - sometimes things are just meant to be because now I look at DD and think we wouldn't have her if... well you know what I mean. Hugs to you.
Ruby Red - you are in my heart. This baby is and was real - so real. My D&C was one week ago. I have never imagined I could feel such emotional pain. I surround you with buoyant thoughts and warm support. Try to hang in there - there are folks out here who understand fully......
I am so sorry for you hon, its funny how you just know. I had a dream a few weeks before I started to mc that I was in a shopping centre and I "lost" my son, then when I fell pregnant again with Niki a few months into the pregnancy I had another dream that I gave birth early and bub didn't survive.
After the first mc I bled on and off for a month before I finally stopped. I didn't have a dc but should have. Then my periods went back to normal and I fell pregnant again on my second cycle.
After my caesar it has taken 7 weeks to have my first period again but I won't be trying for a while yet.
Take your time and grieve for this child, be kind to yourself but most of all DO what is right for you. Don't be dictated to by others who "know best" but try to see their perspective also.
A week ago life was great
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