When do you stop mourning?

[Turkish Delight]

Hi,

I would have been due this week (via c/s).

People tell me that i should get over it.

[AJC]

For people to say you should 'get over it' is incredibly insensitive!!!

I had my first m/c over two years ago and I still cry for that baby and what could have been sometimes. The pain is still there, it has eased but it has become a part of me.

Even though I have a healthy son now I still think of and still grieve for my angel babies.

I am so sorry that people have said something so insensitive to you. Big Hugs.

[diannescruffy]

Hi,
Unfortunately I don't think we will ever stop grieving and you definately do not have to get over it. How incensitive of people to say that. In time it does get easier and I think we just learn how to deal with the grief. Your precious angel will always be close to your heart.

Regards,
Dianne

[Jennifer13]

I am so sorry for your loss. Special times and dates that are significant for you and your angel baby are understandably hard. To be dealing with Xmas and a New Year when you should have been excited about your new arrival, and then to have what should have been her birthday with empty arms...

If you had 'gotten over it' I would suggest not only did your precious baby not have a place in your heart, you would have to have no heart at all! I hope they all learn compassion in 2009.

[loopy_girl21]

It has almost been a year since my MC and I have relly good days and even weeks, but there are days or weeks that are really bad. I've kind of decided that it now apart of our lives and it will never fully be "over it". I'm so sorry for you. Wishing you all the best.

[kristi14]

No you should not "get over it".

You should grieve as long as you need to and only you know how long that is.

I think the "due week" is always hard

[Ryatha]

Like kristi14 said, the due week is very hard, I found myself driving to work bawling my eyes out and I thought I was coping with it well until then.

We are still feeling our loss and I am preg with my next bubs at the moment. DH and I talk about it when we need to and have got help professionally to help express our feelings. I don't think we will ever be "over it" but we are learning to accept how we feel.

If anyone says you should get over it, don't speak to them about it. My mum said it to me so now I never mention it to her. She had 4 healthy pregnancies and never lost a baby so she had no understanding of how it felt. Surround yourself with people who understand and you can comfortable talk about thinks when you need to - like BellyBelly - I've found it really helps. You can always PM me if you need.

Good luck with recovering, and give yourself time, it does seem easier eventually.

[AliBaby]

I am so sorry for your loss. What a difficult time you must be facing now.

Like the other girls have said I dont think it is something thast you ever get over or forget. You do have good days/weeks/months/etc, but you also have bad ones and that's okay.

I had a miscarriage 2yrs ago in March at 14weeks. I was only just thinking today when i was lying on my bed how sick I was this time 2 yrs ago and I got a bit teary. I remember mothers day being very hard and the due date was the hardest.

I hope that you can get some of the support you need in here. I know I found it very hard to talk about it with family and friends that knew as they just expect you to be over it and think there is something wrong if you havent got over it.

I assure you there is nothing wrong with not getting over it. Just as long as you can maintain your daily life.

[Turkish Delight]

A big thanks ladies.

i just want this week to tick over pretty quickly.

We will never forget our angel bubs.

[Baby Blue Eyes]

I misscarried on the 22 June last year and I have never ever experienced a dark place like that before and I pray I never have to again. Even though I did get pregnant again before my next af it did help that I didn't have to go through an af but it also prevented me from facing my real grief of losing our little bubba. I still think of our angel bubba regularly and now for me it is just a deep sorrow and regret.

The thing that has helped me has be two things.
The 1st is that I believe that when I get to heaven my angel bubba will be the first to greet me and the day I will know what heaven is really all about
The 2nd is that I heard a lady talk about her miscarriage in a book my bestie gave me and it was saying that her opinion the reason why God 'allows' them is so that the angel bubba spirit could be created and we should be honoured that we were given this oppounity to carry for even a short time this spirit, and our bubba spirit is sitting with God.

I don't think you can ever 'get over' the loss of anyone you just learn to live with it and how is changes you