Adopted

[diannescruffy]

Hi, my name is Dianne. I am 37 and was adopted at birth. I am married with four children and would like to search for my natural mother and/or siblings. Can anyone give me advice on where I should start searching and would love to hear from anyone who has found their natural birth parents.

[bettyboop]

I just want to say hi and wish you good luck, a close friend of mine found here birth mothers afew years ago and they have a good relationship going now.

[Indadhanu]

It's not me, but my mum was adopted at a very young age, she is about to turn 40 next week, and she found her biological mother about 10 (i think 10) years ago.

We have talked about it, so I can tell you a few things, but I can call her and ask her more if you'd like?

I know she tried to contact her biological mother some time before then, when she turned 18, but her mother declined. Her parents (adoptive parents) helped her a lot by telling her the orphanage they adopted her from, and some other things they knew, and she contacted the BDM department in NSW (she state she was adopted from) and they gave her the places she needed to contact, and it was a big cycle apparently, a lot of explaining and being shuffled from one organisation to another trying to find her biological mother.

She tried again about 10 years ago, but she had a lot of the info she needed from the first time she tried, and she met her biological mother. They don't keep in contact, they are two very different people. But she met her biological siblings (through her biological mother) which she speaks to every now and then.

Good luck Like I said, I can ask her more if you like?

[Indadhanu]

I spoke to mum about it yesterday... she said what really helped was that her parents had information, because mum was fostered first, and they knew her biological mothers name and the orphanage, and had all the paper work still. She said that BDM will help. Also try Post Adoption Resource Centre - PARC Home They are a NSW and ACT service, but can point you in the right direction for other states

[diannescruffy]

Hi Alisia, thanks for your info I will check it out. Can you tell me what BDM stands for sorry!

[Indadhanu]

oh sorry.... births deaths and marriages

PS. Your bub is gorgeous!

[jemima]

Hi Diane

I am adopted and met my birth mother when Iwas 16 or 17 years old. As I was under 18 I had to have my parents consent (which they gave happily - adoption was always a very open subject in our house) and if I remember rightly I(with my parents help) contacted a place called jigsaw (not sure if this is a national organisation - I kind ofthink it might be - just googled them and yestheyare national) and they contacted my birth mother to advise her I had contacted them. My birth mother then wrote to me and I wrote back and met her a short time later. Fortunately she had not put a vetoo her details so we were able to contact each other.

I see her once or twice a year (and email/write every now and then) and she is a lovely lady and I have no hard feelings as I am glad for both our sakes that she gavee me up for adoption as things would probably have turned out quite differntly for us if shehadnt. She is a very successful person which may or may not have happened (but would have definitely been made harder if she had kept me) and I am soooo glad I have my adoptive parents as my mum and dad.

I met my birth father a few years later and he was a bit of a bozo LOL so I dont have anything to do with him.

Since having children of my own I have felt a closer relationship or maybe an understanding of what my birth mother must have gone through when giving me up for adoption.

Iam really glad I have met her but my adoptive parents will always be my mum and dad and my birthmother is just a friend albeit she gave birth to me.

Feel free to ask any more questions.

Goodluck
Jem

[diannescruffy]

Hi Jem, thank you so much for your reply. I will look up jigsaw site. I feel exactly the way you do about my adoptive parents, to me they are my real mum and dad. My parents were also open with me about my adoption and mum said that if any time I wanted to look for my birth mother she would help but I felt to back then. My mum passed away 14 years ago, and now with kids of my own I would just lilke to meet her with no hard feelings. Do you have any birth siblings and if so did you meet them. I was brought up an only child and would love to know if I have any birth siblings.
See ya and thanks again.

[jemima]

Hi Dianne

My birth motherdidnt have anymore children but my birthfather did but as Isaid in my first post he was a bitof a bozo and his children were the same LOL (that sounds terrible) so I dont have anything to do with them.

It was an extremely emotional experience meeting my birth mother and as I said earlier it is only since having children of my own that I can understand some of her feelings. It was also really interesting to see if I looked like her (which was what I thought about most growing up I think - do I look like someone else??) and even now my DS has turned out to be left handed just like her (my DH and Iare not left handed). She was only 16yrs old when she had me which is why she gave me up.

I wish you all the best and please let me know how you go and feel free to ask questions.

Take care
Jem

[blondeangel]

Dianne

I am adopted.. I found and met my birthmother last year. Its a very overwhelming and emotional journey and I i would be more than happy to help you out or chat about this with you. Support and understanding is absolutely necessary to keep one's sanity whilst on this journey!

email me if you'd like to. blondness72 @ yahoo . com . au

I have some great links to forums and support services for those in reunion. x take care