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Thread: I was adopted

  1. #1

    Join Date
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    Default I was adopted

    Hi Everyone,
    I know that this is a forum about people wanting to adopt, but I just thought that I would let you know of my experience in the hope that it can help potential adoptive parents.
    I was adopted from birth and have always known it. I dont remember ever being told, it was just "there". My father always used to say that i was special because they got to pick me out of all the other babies that needed mummies and daddies. Obviously, that wasnt the case, but it served to make me feel loved and wanted.
    My parents split up when I was 6 but maintained a very healthy relationship for my sake. Both parents eventually remarried (other people of course) and I can never remember any arguments or any tension. My mother passed away when I was 10 and I went to live with my grandmother who was a lovely lady. She passed away when I was 16 and I was on my own from then. Despite these tragedies, I always felt loved and cared for by my father and extended family.
    When I fell pregnant with my first child, they asked all sorts of medical questions about my natural family and my husband encouraged me to find out who they were. At 21 years of age, and with a lot of luck I made a phonecall to my natural mother, who put me in touch with my natural father. I have a close relationship with both my families and feel extra lucky to have so many people to love my kids, DH and myself.
    I say go for it to anyone thats considering adoption. If you can give lots of love and time to a baby when its mother cant you should defifnitely do it.
    Hope this has offered a different perspective on adoption. Good Luck!!!


  2. #2

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    Thanks for sharing your story Rayla. You are lucky to have a close relationship with such a big extended family
    Last edited by ~Raven~; May 5th, 2006 at 09:17 PM.

  3. #3

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    That is great that you had such a wonderful expierience with your biological parents.

    My DP and his Brother are adopted and they always knew they were. It's hard when having children and getting asked all the family history and having no idea of what DP's biological family history is. For instance, EMily only has 3 incisors on the bottom... I have been told this most likely runs in families. It isn't from my side and DP has 4 incisors on the bottom... as for his natural parents...?? No idea.

    DP has met his biological mother once when he was about 16. She has never told her father about him and is scared of what will happen if he finds out. Having been told this my DP is not reluctant to get in contact with her again.

    Anyway, I hope they meet up again soon and have a succeful relationship.

    Tanya

  4. #4

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    Default

    I have though about replying to this thread but have put if off until now, I hope I'm not hijacking your thread either Rayla.

    When my Mum was 17 she got involved with a guy and fell pg. She 'did the right thing' and went to Sydney, found a job until she was due to give birth and then she chose to give the baby up for adoption. At the time (1974) she knew she was doing the right thing even though it broke her heart to do it because she didn't have the support of her family or the baby's father. She has since found out that her little girl went to a family who had previously adopted two boys and were unable to have their own children. I think that made her feel really proud that she gave this family a little girl to love. She also contacted her daughter who told her that she had a great life and went to a great private school (something Mum could never even have hoped to do), but did not want to make contact with her. I think Mum was upset, but respected her wishes totally.

    I often wonder about her and if she looks a little like me, but I think it is one of the greatest gifts you could give to another person.

  5. #5

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    Hi Rayla,

    I too was adopted, however I was actually around 4 years old when it was finalised. Mine was due to... let's just say bad treatment by parent. I only remember one thing prior to living with the foster parents who adopted me and that was going to the shop in my pj's with the family who fostered my brother and I before mum and dad did. I don't remember ever being told I was adopted or knowing any different to living with them (weird I know but true). I think that is one of the most important things with adoption, letting the child know and not have them find out by accident when they are older. I've heard so many stories about people not being told because they were scared of the child wanting to leave or whatever and they have felt so much more hurt by not having been trusted and told by the people they love most (personal choice I know, but I believe not right). There is curiosity to an extent and I met my biological mother when I was 20 however we don't maintain a relationship which is my choice. I do from time to time speak to my half brother though.

    I always giggle when asked "family history" by a doctor because they look at you weird when you say you don't know. I'm so totally fine with being adopted and don't understand why people when they find out go, oh I'm sorry, like they're embarrassed. I forget people don't know because it's like Rayla said, always was just "there".

    If I was unable to have children I would have no hesitation in adopting. I have even entertained the idea of adopting one anyway. I hope I haven't rambled but wanted to back Rayla on this one

  6. #6
    lj268 Guest

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    Well I too was adopted, I was adopted at birth and my adoptive parents always told me I was adopted, so it wasnt a shock to me. My brother was also adopted and he was Aboriginal, but that didnt worry me. My mother died when I was 12, but luckily she had married a good man (whom I called Dad, her and my first Dad divorced years prior, and I dont even remember him). I lived with Dad til I was 16 then moved away from home when I met a guy. When it became possible to find your biological parents, I did just that and I found my natural mother, she lived about four hours away from me and had never married, so it wasnt too hard for people to track her down. I first met her on Mothers Day in 1991 when I was 24 years old (nearly 25). To my amazement she too was Aboriginal and so I then met my brother and two sisters that were her other children (I was the only one that was fair tho, and sometimes I think that is why I was adopted out?). My adoptive father died in 1998 which really affected me, much more than I thought it would and in 2003 my biological mother died from cancer. I actually met my biological father for the first time in January 2005, it was very overwhelming, but I will never be able to meet his children, my other brother and sisters because I was the result of an affair! Anyway, I have had a pretty good life, and even tho we done it tough, I know that I had a better life with my adoptive parents than I wouldve had with my biological family. The only thing I think was a bother was that I was of Aboriginal blood and no one in my adoptive family knew of that and so I missed out on all my culture, and it is very hard to learn that. But, life goes on, I have had a really good life considering, but would never consider adopting out a child, only because I feel that I wouldnt have a reason to.

  7. #7
    enchantedlife Guest

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    I was adopted when I was 4 years old. I know how difficult it can be sometimes, but I am ok even after all of the issues I have had to deal with because of it. I hope all of you considering adopting a child really take some time to think things through before making a concrete decision, for the child's sake and yours.

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