As an adoptee, I would consider how your child might feel about this... now, and later in life.

Adoption, to me, is a last resort. She still has a biological father, and always will. One day she very well may want to have a relationship with him, which is her choice. If your DH adopts your child, that sends a message of being unwanted by the bfather of your child.

It's very difficult to fathom for me, how a parent could give up their child unless it was absolutely necessary - ie. being abused, at high risk.

Changing the father (legally) may suit your needs, but down the track, is it in the best interests of the CHILD? To remove her biological roots? It's a huge step, in my opinion. As a child who was removed totally from her roots.

I know that hte bfather isn't very supportive of the child, but this doesn't take away the fact that he is the father.

I would fully support being the legal guardian or foster parent, but adoption is a whole other story..

Having just found my birthmother, after 35 years, its the fact that I was relinquished and was given up on by her that is soo hard to take. I would consider if it's going to cause some problems down the track, when she wants to know where she came from. Hiding the truth (via adoption) will only put shame and negativity into the equation. Truth is imperative for the child.

Just my 2 cents worth.