Hope i didn't offend you in any way, my DH is DD's "dad" too, its what they do not just the donation of sperm I think.

I can understand the safety aspect, I lived in fear for years about the X turing up (he left when DD was 2 and we haven't seen him since) It has taken me many years to calm down and even feel brave enough to visit the state his family live in.

I would go and talk to the registrar of the local court, ours helped me heaps with DDs name change.