Permanent Care.......

[lil_chookie]

Dan, please hi-jack away!! This is exactly what I wanted a discussion about permanent care, I can't get one happening anywhere! All the permanent care parents & others involved in someway with permanent care are hiding

If I could just ask a question too.......how long did they wait for placement? I have heard a range of different answers to this and most of the couples were 10 + years older than us, so I am just interested to know if a younger couple is waiting the same amount of time for a match.

We actually entered the program for a specific child (4 yr old boy) but due to the length of time processes take with the department, it does not look like this placement will be happening for us as he needs to be placed soon. He was very behind in development before entering fostercare (our family knows the foster family).......but he has really caught up. A repeat year of kinder and he will be ready for school.

While we would loooooove to welcome this little man into our home, we know there are lot's of other children waiting for placement. So we will just keep on doing what we have to do until we get there

[MantaRay]

LC, I think this is an amazing thing for a couple to do, and I wish you all the best with it. I hope to hear some good news from you!

[Liviam]

I'm not sure if it makes a difference to waiting times or not but my sister lives in NSW. From memory the whole process has only taken a few months (I'm think 2 to 3) as they were rushed through. It took them a while to decide on what type of care they wanted to do. They opted for long term permament care so they weren't sure they could handle the emergency/critical care. They wanted to be able to provide stability in the kids life.
The actual process of him being switched over into their care permamently starts tomorrow (WOOHOO!!!) and he will be living with them within 4 weeks. It would have been sooner but he has to has an operation the first week of June and they want sister and BIL to have a few weeks of physio with his current short term carer so that everyone is comfortable before the full move.
There are some things which have disappointed them a little bit. Like BIL isn't allowed to bath him, they aren't allowed to bring him into their bed for morning cuddles and they aren't allowed to be called mum and dad or any forms of them. While I totally understand that these need to be in place to protect the children in placement but it's a bit sad that they all miss out on these things. This boys parents have given up all rights to him and they have no contact with him at all so he will be with my sister and BIL until he chooses to move out when he's an adult so they will be all he knows as parents.

What type of care are you and DH looking into lil_chookie??

[lil_chookie]

NSW & VIc are different, their Permanent Care sounds more like long term fostering. But I am surprised at the restrictions placed on them when the little one is placed in their care permanently. Especially your BIL not being able to bath him......that breaks my heart. One of the hardest parts of going through this process (after you have accepted you will not have a baby of your own) is to be viewed as someone who will hurt a child........and to them have that continue after you have been assessed and approved......hard stuff.

It took us about 3 months to be assessed and approved as foster parents, this process we are going through now is different. It's a longer & more intense process. But at the end of it, we will be a mum & dad (and called that if that is what the child wants). I will add a link in here that explains all kinds of questions about Permanent Care for anyone that is interested (hope it is okay to post the link, I haven't been on here lately so I am not up with the rules!):


Permanent care: Adoption and Permanent Care

The first 2 years DHS will have to give approval for anything that a Guardian would, but after the Permanent Care order is passed, it will be us.

[Liviam]

I just had to pop and share. I've just seen the very first photo of my sister, BIL and their little man . They look so incredibly happy plus I'm an aunty again!!!!! I've got tears flooding everywhere, LOL!!

I honestly didn't realise how involve and indepth this process is for couples going through it. You must be so incredbly strong as I don't think I could go through it. You are amazing! I'm off to check out the website you posted.

[lil_chookie]

Dan - I feel soooo happy for your sister! What a great great great day for her & your BIL. And congratualtions on being an Aunty again

I guess you do have to be strong to get through this process, knowing that you are going to give a little person something in life that everyone deserves but they just have not had, a family is a driving force........but I also think Infertility & Long Term IVF disappointment helps you learn ALOT about yourself & gives you strength that you need to get there.

[mrscricket]

Lil Chookie - just wanted to say congratulations on your brave step of entering the world of PC! I truly hope you get your little man because you sound like you'd be a wonderful influence on his life. My parents currently have 3 children in their permanent care and they call them mum & dad, and also have our surname as well. It's great to hear of someone young wanting to take on children - my parents are in their 60's (although you'd never know, they are 'young oldies' ).
Congratulations to your sister Dan!

[dusty]

I guess you do have to be strong to get through this process, knowing that you are going to give a little person something in life that everyone deserves but they just have not had, a family is a driving force........but I also think Infertility & Long Term IVF disappointment helps you learn ALOT about yourself & gives you strength that you need to get there.

You are a wise woman hun and are going to be an amazing mum. I also think relationships that survive the infertility rollercoaster bode well for PC and adoption.

Dan, thanks for sharing your family's news! How exciting.

LC I hope that this thread becomes a more permanent discussion about PC in Australia.

As I understand it currently VIC and ACT have a similar approach to ensuring that children removed from their families are not kept in uncertain limbo for more than 2 years and that they must be placed permanently if they are not able to return to their families. I think, but hopefully someone can tell us, NSW is planning to move to this system soon.

Many people get confused between fostering and PC but PC is much more closely aligned with adoption, as children and families enter into what is hoped to be a life long relationship.

MrsCricket, that is such a heartening story about your parents hun. Thanks for sharing.