Is it too late to defer?

[Willow]

Well my first semester at uni has started and I'm seriously struggling

I am just not finding the time or energy I need to throw at this. I'm studying by DE which takes quite a bit of time management and balancing but being prg again has kinda thrown the balance out

I applied before I found out i was prg. I thought my baby days were behind me and it was time to move on to the next phase, time to do something for me. But that has all completely changed now and I'm just not in that head space anymore. I don't know if I'm scared and talking myself out of it or if I'm just being realistic in thinking this is not the right time for me to start studying.

I'm sooooo tired because all my spare time (ie when the kids are sleeping or with DH!) is spent studying. I'm not getting any rest and am really starting to feel it and resent it.

This will be my last prg and I keep thinking I should just be enjoying the next few months I have with DS and DD and taking it easy before the new baby arrives and we're all thrown back into chaos.

I'm assuming it's too late to defer for 12 months because I've enrolled and the semester has already started??

What about dropping a subject to ease the workload - is that possible?

I'm going to email my student liaison tomorrow about all this but figured someone might know.

Any suggestions or advice would be greatly appreciated!

[HotI]

You still may be able to defer! It depends what your uni census date is. It is usually a few weeks or a month into semester because students change subjects around.

definately contact the uni as soon as you can to find out your options. the uni website might have some info up too.

if you find you have a bit of time until you have to decide, think about which subject/s you think you can cope with and maybe just go for a reduced load, then you can do the same next year. The following year you might be ready for more subjects (not sure how long your course is).

[Willow]

Thanks Kate, I actually found some info on the uni website last night and it looks like I still have time to defer or drop a subject if that's what I want to do.

I was thinking that studying a single subject might be the way to go - that way I won't feel like such a failure and my workload will decrease and ease the stress a bit.

BUT I was looking at my exam timetable last night and I'll be sitting exams when I'm 37+ weeks prg Not sure how'd I cope with that!

Has anyone sat uni exams heavily prg and still managed decent marks? I couldn't even sit comfortably for 5 mins when I was 37 weeks prg with DS, let alone 3 hours!

[Michelle71]

TBH I would defer completely and enjoy the pregnancy. I was studying law when I lost Caitlyn and just didn't have the focus to study when pregnant with DS. If this is to be your last pregnancy then take the time to enjoy it and to keep yourself as well rested as possible to enjoy the time you spend with DD and DS.

Deferral is not failing - it is recognising there are limitations to how much you can realistically do and do well. Failing the subject due to fatigue or the amount of time you can dedicate to it would make you feel so much worse and taint a very special time

[~Trish~]

Sounds like you might be best to defer? You sound like your not enjoying it at all, maybe it's worth waiting until you're up to it so you can really sink your teeth into it and give it your absolute best shot? And sitting exams at 37 weeks? Hmmmm....LOL!

How would you wake up feeling tomorrow morning if you were to defer today? Would you feel disappointed, upset or relieved? That might give you your answer as to what the right thing to do is.

You do what you feel is best for your, your kids and your baking bub .

[Willow]

Trish - I'd feel immensely relieved but also a little disappointed.

That's kinda my answer isn't it??

I was just so excited and proud (LOL!) when I was accepted, it's just disappointing that it hasn't worked out the way I wanted it to.

[~Trish~]

It's just disappointing that it hasn't worked out the way I wanted it to.

I completely understand the disappointment, but remember that it's not forever. If you defer at least you still have a place for when you get back to it. No it didn't work out the way you originally intended, but hey, what you have now is so much better than what you thought you would have 12 months ago .

Go and enjoy growing your bub, relax and have guilt-free fun spending time with your two gorgeous kids