my youngest was diagnosed as moderate to severely deaf at 5 months old, and had hearing aids until 15 months when they discovered his deafness was conductive and not sensoineural and hence he needed grommets and not aids. When he had his aids I did notice a few people staring at him but like Jett he was blessed with incredible above average cuteness so I put some if it down to that. Most kids asked what they were for and just told them, we decorated them with dinosaur stickers and told people they were like bionic ears. Kids were interested and kind, it was the parents that made a big fuss.
I did start to learn Auslan though, because although he wouldn't need it the research I did suggested that lots of kids with hearing loss like to socialise with other hearing loss kids and so I wanted boytwin to be able to fully emmerse himself in the deaf community or in the hearing community. I also intended for the entire family to learn Auslan so that his friends would feel welcome and understood in our house but as his diagnosis changed so did this intent. I had decided that unless his communication was massively affected that he would go to a regular school though, as being one of 4 I didn't want to separate him from his siblings. That said there are some considerations for school, things like do they have carpets and curtains as this will help him be able to hear better as they absorb background noises.
I am happy to learn Auslan now and I have got a chart of some simple signs that we will use but my question is if the hearing aids help him to hear why does he need to socialise etc in the deaf community? I'm thinking the more I focus on being 'in' with the deaf community the more I am segregating him? Does that make sense? He should be able to hear fine with the aids and communicate so there shouldn't be an issue for him to play with kids that don't have a hearing impairment. Maybe I'm still in denial a bit? I am really surprised how much this diagnosis has affected me.
I understand exactly what you are thinking BAL, but what I learned when I researched was that a lot of kids (not all) prefer to be in the deaf community where they are one of many, rather that try to integrate in the hearing community where they are the deaf child and therefore different from their peers. Quite a few deaf children will take out their hearing aids to fit in more with deaf children I wanted to give boytwin the choice about who he wanted to associate with.
For my parents and friends, it's mostly about communication. My Dad is profoundly deaf, my mum hearing impaired. They prefer to hang out with people that they can fully communicate with. My mum is very oral, can hear quite well with her hearing aids on and people can understand what she says when she talks. However she still prefers AUSLAN as it means she doesn't miss anything that people are saying. Even though she has good hearing, it's still not the same as understanding everything that people are communicating with her.
I also know of a few Deaf teenagers that took out the external part of their cochlear implants as they weren't really helping them much anyway and they wanted to be Deaf, not hearing.
It can sound a bit confronting and you are probably processing lots right now. At this stage, I think that Deaf playgroups, social groups when older etc are more about giving him choices than segregating him. At least then Jett has had exposure to a range of people he can hang out with and then he can make his own decisions based on what he feels most comfortable with.
People will sometimes try and speak loudly to my dad or talk to my mum with her back turned. Some people think my parents are stupid because they are Deaf and automatically turn to me in any conversation so I can translate. I see my role as helping to educate these people about how to communicate with Deaf people effectively. Basic stuff like speak slowly to my Dad and look at him, no point shouting as it doesn't make a difference. Make sure you have Mum's attention before starting otherwise she won't realise you are talking to her. If someone is particularly rude, I'll just walk away so they have no choice but to communicate with Mum and Dad as I've said. Mum and Dad are absolutely able to assert themselves if they don't understand what someone is saying and conversations can take a while in shops. However that's the way things work with them and they have as much right as everyone else to understand what is being said to them by a hearing person.
Thanks Fabfiona.. I think it is just processing. I am not sure why i am struggling so much. It could be so much worse! I guess the fact that he is now 'special needs' takes some getting used to. I don't know anything about hearing impairment really and how will impact on his life. I want him to be 'normal' whatever that means .. You make a lot of sense when you say I would be giving him choices. I have a social worker, I sent her an e mail so she should get back to me next week. She can tell me where to start. Honestly I just don't know. I don't want to have this huge label hanging over our heads, I don't want him known as 'the deaf kid' or to be treated like he is stupid, but I don't want to deny his hearing impairment either, as that could disadvantage him too.
I was thinking about this last night and you. Hope the new day has brought some light into your thoughts.
I know that you want Jett to be normal. Every Deaf and hearing impaired person I know is normal. One is an Olympian, a few are lawyers, two have received medals of the Order of Australia. My mum is national president of Deaf Australia, the peak advocacy organisation for people that use AUSLAN in Australia. Some are dead*****s who don't treat their partners properly and some have trouble keeping employment. Normal is whatever Jett decides.
Early intervention is critical but be wary of well meaning social workers and other professionals in this sector who try and band aid over Jett's hearing loss by telling you that he will be completely normal. All of these things will make it much easier for him when he grows up, but it doesn't take away from the fact that he can't hear everything so it's important that he have a range of tools at his disposal (including AUSLAN if you decide) as these will all help his choices in the future.
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.. You make a lot of sense when you say I would be giving him choices. I have a social worker, I sent her an e mail so she should get back to me next week. She can tell me where to start. Honestly I just don't know. I don't want to have this huge label hanging over our heads, I don't want him known as 'the deaf kid' or to be treated like he is stupid, but I don't want to deny his hearing impairment either, as that could disadvantage him too.
another bump in the road along your journey together which will make you yet again even stronger 
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