Aspergers/Autism/Sensory Integration Chatter #3

[Early Kids]

and my heart goes out to you. Big hugs. My DS1 is a handful and we found timeout didnt work for him just left him confused and still very emotional so we made the "manners chair" just a little stool in our main room and its used for both kids when they get too much. When talking wont work, when they are shouting at me, hitting or kicking each other, or even if I've askedthem to do something 25 times and its not happening. General bad manners or unreasonable behaviour earns them an amount of time on the chair. If mummy or daddy say a bad word then we have to sit on the manners chair- that way the kids see its not a personal thing against them
Sorry Im not explaining it very well, but I hope you get the gist of it and perhaps it will help you

Makes sense to me. I'm just not sure if we'd be able to impliment it or not. Worth a try though. Thanks xx

Maz, Thank you. I have reached that same stage. I went over my own boundary today and cracked it. It's just so frustrating, I feel I have exhausted myself trying to find something that is going to work.

[christy]

oh Sally you are not alone. There was a time there, when I was on the phone to Lifeline or some parent line for help to not hurt Matilda as I was at the end of my rope. Over and over again I was given parenting advice that JUST DIDN:T WORK! We tried the Triple P course and made a huge go of it. 8 months of going to fortnightly meetings and working together and we finally were told that Matilda didn't respond to it so it was beyond the social worker... There is now a Triple P course for parenting ASD children, and I reckon its pretty good for getting a basis of how you parent and how to work together. Just having "tools" to fall back on are helpful.

Matilda didn't cope with time out. If I started on time out, we would do a 6 hour drama over it.... and then I would give up, because 6 hours was my limit. Matilda fought to the death, and I just couldn't do it. Matilda would laugh if I smacked her in last resort because for her smacking feels good. I found in the end the only thing that has worked for her is doing OT exercises.... if she's loosing the plot I jump in quickly and squash her and do deep compression work (squashing is putting her between two bean bags and jumping on top of her and making her climb out), pushing her joints together and doing breathing races (we use a straw and push a ball down the hallway in a race... this makes her do deep breathing which helps calm her down). It takes a LOT of energy to get through. Its hard hard work... and if I don't have the energy, its not too good.

I am not saying this as someone who has found the answer... just as someone who is on the upside at the moment.... I'm not naive enough to think that it could not go downhill at any moment. Anything could set us off downhill again... but I'm living in the good time at the moment.

[tan32]

Firstly Sally i just want to give you a big hug

An update on us , we had a visit with the pead and he agrees we are looking at aspergers with Hamish. So now we go onto an assessment in June. We have a few pages of questions to answer and take with us and have the same for his teacher.

School holidays is here and its proving a challenge, Hamish seems to wander around lost, he retreats to his room a hell of a lot and clings to me for comfort.. Any change in the routine and we have sulking and crying. This is hard enough to deal with and then we add in Lachlan and his lovely temper tantrums and squealing which irritate Hamish even more.

I am currently trying to figure out a way to wash Hamish's hair without screaming and crying etc... any tips would be greatly appreciated

[maz]

Anything could set us off downhill again... but I'm living in the good time at the moment.

that is just the bee knee's to hear you saying that hon Im so happy that you guys are on an upper atm

Tan - I find that when Mario carries on about stuff and hates it I laugh and make a joke about it. He is quiet funny and has an ace sense of humour so I use it. what im trying to say is...find what makes Hamish 'laugh' and use it hon, if its eating chocolate.......then try it. In the mean time you can always get some dry shampoo from the chemist

I HATE school holidays.....over the rudeness of a certain someone who have had many things confiscated and put in the naughty bag. AND he's started picking at scab's from his mozzie bites...grrrr their huge now!!!! I have the biggest headache from the constant negetivity from him and telling mini me and tank to go away, leave me alone....and he does that stupid...chick chick BOOM cause it was on t.v (you know that stupid girl who was on tv about the shooting) when he is ****ty with me.

3 more sleeps

[mrsmac]

I am finding the holidays challenging too. Part of it is my fault cause I don't do enough stuff with DS to use up his energy, I am so exhausted from 1st term teaching kindergarten that I just want to veg. Had DS and my niece (7 mths younger than him) today. He knows how to push her buttons so he growls near her and she immediately bursts into tears and howls for ages so it was a tough morning, luckily after a lot of rough play on the trampoline he settled down.

In the last week or term the preschool teacher told me that there is just something not right about DS! Awesome thanks for that. I am going to try to get him an assessment through a place at Chatswood, I still don't believe he has autism or aspergers but am leaning towards a language disorder which SHOULD have been picked up by the speechie last year but since she was 12 and painfully gushy and seemingly useless she didn't!

Sorry for the rant, I am feeling very very sad about it at atm, I love him to pieces but some days i feel like I can't cope with one minute more.

[Lulu]

Thanks Tan and Maz, you have both saved me heaps of typing

An update on us , we had a visit with the pead and he agrees we are looking at aspergers with Hamish. So now we go onto an assessment in June. We have a few pages of questions to answer and take with us and have the same for his teacher.

Exactly the same here - my pead is a chick and says we have to hurry in case he can be dx Aspy (which she agrees he seems borderline) before his 6th birthday in June for the funding.
Go 2 psych appt + hearing tests coming.

. AND he's started picking at scab's from his mozzie bites...grrrr their huge now!!!! I have the biggest headache from the constant negetivity from him and telling mini me and tank to go away, leave me alone....and he does that stupid...chick chick BOOM cause it was on t.v (you know that stupid girl who was on tv about the shooting) when he is ****ty with me.

Yes, I am rather sick of peown, peeeown, chick, chick in my face when ds is shirty.
I am lucky in that DS has spent most of the holidays with his dad who isn't working right now and lives in the country/hills. He has spent most of his time bushwalking, fishing, burning off bonfires and generally having a Boys Own adventure all day long.
I asked xp to bring him home because I missed him and realised my mistake about 3 hours after he got back....there just isn't enough to do around here

[Early Kids]

<< I think we all need a big one of those.

Brendan's Paediatrician office rang yesterday and confirmed our appointment, one month time. Brendan will be assessed on the Bayley's or Griffith's test. A Child Psychologist will also sit on in the appointment. The childcare have written out some concerns of theirs so I can take it to the paed too. Brendan has an ophthalmology appointment in June (only 9 months late) and no sign of ENT in the system

Will hopefully hear from the new OT shortly after school goes back (they run on school terms)

[Turkish Delight]

on my holidays in merimbula, i have realised that DS may have Aspergers or some degreeness of Autism or something which i can't pinpoint, but there is something not quite right with him.
I spoke to my psychiatrist today and he thinks the above and it would be best to get him assessed.
For those in Melb, can you advise me of a good child psychiatrist or clinic where i can get DS assessed?

TIA.

[Freya]

I hope you dont mind me popping in but I have a few questions to ask if thats ok. Google is driving me batty so I figured I would get more practical help from you all.

First question is: can anyone direct me to a website or something that has symptoms lists for disorders, primarily aimed at young kids ie toddler? Alot of the ones Im finding are aimed at primary school age children.

Also, just curious if you can remember anything your child did that made alarm bells ring even if others were telling you everything was fine?

Thanks.

[Lulu]

Quick temper, rigid must be the boss of everything, meltdown tantrums long after he should have grown out of them, easily overwhelmed, constant talking about the saaaaaaaame one subject. Now he has started school he has started hitting out at others when before he just reserved it for his poor little sister.
Always needs to be supervised - becuase something always goes wrong and it drives him mental to the point of screaming the house down.

Welcome to the 3 ring circus.

[maz]

lu ahhh yes..3 ring circus

Mario loved everything that spun...he would put car;s on their backs or their sides just to watch the wheels turn as he pushed them. Flapping of hands...tippy toe walking. Hated strangers coming to the house..would go off his nut, head butt the table or wall until he bleed, lash out at me or his brother. Hide under the table...only like certain foods (all white foods here ) didnt like smell, textures of some thines, wore only shorts and t-shirt for over 2 years. Needed routine.

I started a thread https://www.bellybelly.com.au/forums...fe-autism.html about our journey to start with. I hope that it helps in some way hon

I wanted to say more in your other thread but its something people tend to get peeved about if you mention the 'spectrum' word

[Freya]

Is obsessive behaviour involved as well? Because Ripley does all of those things and more. He has meltdowns over EVERYTHING. God forbid if his brothers touch something he even remotely thought about in the last 72hrs. He gets possessive and obsessive - currently he drags two McD's dragon toys EVERYWHERE. He absolutely cannot function without them, wont even go to bed unless they are there. He even took them to his swimming lesson and held them the whole time. If we cannot find them, or his blankie, or we even dare to suggest handing them over to us, screaming ensues so I am anal about keeping tabs on them so to avoid no sleep and mega tanties. He watches the same DVD over and over til he picks a new one then thats played over and over. He is physically rough, even in normal everyday things. I absolutely cannot take my eyes off him for a second, not even when he is asleep because he will definately do something bad or run away. A few mornings Ive found him out in the backyard at 6am! He is defiant to the point where its nearly comical - he just does not appear to care, or care to understand, why his behaviour is unacceptable, punishment is useless because he just goes right on with life and does the same thing again without any qualms about being in trouble and knowing full well Im going to crack it. He will stare at me and stare at me when I talk to him, like he is listening but doesnt understand a word Im saying, its like he goes blank. So frustrating. His development is normal I guess; but his verbal communication is iffy. I know he can talk, he knows he can talk but mostly all I get is a bunch of unintelligable mumbling with a word thrown it. He has so much energy its exhausting. He just goes and goes and goes and goes and goes; and the attention span is nearly non existant. He's suddenly gotten fussy with eating. He just cant sit still long enough to eat his meal; or he is picky about what it is. He wont touch anything cream based, wont eat meat, wont eat vegies, pasta is the only thing I can get into him without drama's.

Im at a loss as what to do with him. I know they go through terrible two's and this might be normal but I think his behaviour is insane. Im starting to wonder if there isnt something more to it. Ive always thought there was something up with him but been to afraid to investigate.

[Lulu]

O yeah on the obsessions! We copped trains for years, then trucks - alllll the different kinds. Now we have moved onto Star Wars.

I just got this info today -

What is Asperger Syndrome?

A developmental disorder which falls within the Autism Spectrum. Main features of this disorder become obvious during early childhood and remain constant throughout life, although common features and degree of actual impairment can vary. Rarely recognised before the age of 3. More common in boys.
Core features are lack of social skills, limited ability to have a 2 way conversation and an intense interest in a particular subject. Most of these children attend normal primary schools.

COMMUNICATION

Although these children are often highly articulate, content of speech may be abnormal, tending to be pedantic and often centering on 1 or 2 favourite topics. Sometimes a word or phrase is repeated over and over. Usually there is a comprehension deficit despite apparent superior verbal skills. Non verbal communication, both expressive and receptive is often impaired.

SOCIAL INTERACTION

There tends to be impairment in a 2 way social interaction due to an inability to understand the rules governing social behaviour. A lack of empathy with other and little to no eye contact may be evident. Can appear to be stuck on the egocentric stage of social and emotional development. They tend to perceive the world exclusively from their own point of view. Although interested in social relationships often social contact is made inappropriately.

SOCIAL BEHAVIOUR

Is often naive and peculiar. Can tend to be intensely attached to particular possessions often engaging in repetitive activities. Resistant to change, coping best when life is predictable. They prefer structure and may concentrate exclusively on matter in which they are interested. Are often known as loners who never quite fit in because of eccentric behaviour, peculiar ways of speaking and a lack of social skills.

COMMON FEATURES

Excellent rote memory, absorbs facts easily. General performs well with maths science and reading. May be anxious and unable to cope with criticism or imperfection. Often the victims of teasing and bullying leading to withdrawal into isolated activities. Can appear to be clumsy and have an unusual gait or stance. Often seen as odd or eccentric. Language appears good but may have limited content and poor social understandinjg. Self interested and lacks empathy.

[christy]

Freya I too have a debrief journey thread "Meeting Matilda... Meeting Autism". I think you may find somethings insteresting when you read our journeys. A lot of what he does sounds very familiar.