and my heart goes out to you. Big hugs. My DS1 is a handful and we found timeout didnt work for him just left him confused and still very emotional so we made the "manners chair" just a little stool in our main room and its used for both kids when they get too much. When talking wont work, when they are shouting at me, hitting or kicking each other, or even if I've askedthem to do something 25 times and its not happening. General bad manners or unreasonable behaviour earns them an amount of time on the chair. If mummy or daddy say a bad word then we have to sit on the manners chair- that way the kids see its not a personal thing against them
Sorry Im not explaining it very well, but I hope you get the gist of it and perhaps it will help you